I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for.
You were meant to read these words.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The Union Of Steel And Space
I write the love letters you never got, the ones you never sent. And I'll throw these words out there like confetti at the wedding you and I never had.
These words make me feel guilty, now that I'm the cause of someone's sadness, the cause of the unsent love letters....not the victim.
Why can't you understand? I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't stand the conflict. So I ended it. But I ended up hurting you, as you made sure to tell me. I was your only lifeline for your pain, but I was part of that pain...so I couldn't help but know. I had done what I vowed to myself I wouldn't...reduced someone else to me.
Of all the days I've been reading this, these words ring the truest...and hurt the most. I could have notebooks of all the love letters I've written to you that you'll never get now that you no longer love me.
Once again you stop me with the truth and beauty and pain and regret in your words. Every word you write surprises me even more. Before Kite Runner, I didn't realise men could express their hurt like this. I'm touched and I can't say that very often.
I still regret evey wrong word I said. May be because I never heard the right word or may be I never said ... once again I made u cry in sorrow n pain. I wish I could change. But I have n realised my mistake . Take me back forgive n forget the pain , for some change.
I'm starting to think the wedding will never come. Let alone the engagement. Would it kill to commit fully? Maybe I should just give up, or is it worth it to hold on. I have given too much time to this to not see it through. Would it be a waste if it all ended now? I have bigger dreams for this life of mine.
I have been a follower of this blog since 2008. And still when I click the random entry button, your posts still resonate just as deep as they did the first time. Thank you.
I'm starting to think the wedding will never come. Let alone the engagement. Would it kill to commit fully? Maybe I should just give up, or is it worth it to hold on. I have given too much time to this to not see it through. Would it be a waste if it all ended now? I have bigger dreams for this life of mine.
I have been a follower of this blog since 2008. And still when I click the random entry button, your posts still resonate just as deep as they did the first time. Thank you.
I write the love letters you never got, the ones you never sent. And I'll throw these words out there like confetti at the wedding you and I never had.
indeed, I will.
ReplyDeleteThese words make me feel guilty, now that I'm the cause of someone's sadness, the cause of the unsent love letters....not the victim.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't you understand? I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't stand the conflict. So I ended it. But I ended up hurting you, as you made sure to tell me. I was your only lifeline for your pain, but I was part of that pain...so I couldn't help but know. I had done what I vowed to myself I wouldn't...reduced someone else to me.
that's beautiful.
ReplyDeleteAlways. I miss you.
ReplyDeleteIt hurts. I thought we wanted the same thing. :-(
ReplyDeleteAnon at February 18, 2009 7:18 AM:
ReplyDeletemaybe we do. isnt it a pity that neither of us are willing to admit it first?
you wish!
ReplyDeleteAmazing photo, as usual!
ReplyDeleteOf all the days I've been reading this, these words ring the truest...and hurt the most. I could have notebooks of all the love letters I've written to you that you'll never get now that you no longer love me.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog, you always inspire me!
ReplyDeletehttp://soshetellsyou.blogspot.com
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletei've always thot of what might happen after this love,of him and of mine.
ReplyDeletei guess i can visualise it now.
:( i don't wish for this to happen. no. it would have been too hurtful. but if it does, i'll be there... to throw the confetti.
ReplyDeletewow.
ReplyDeleteThere's so much we never had.
ReplyDeleteShould we have had it?
Maybe not.
Maybe it's better this way.
How damn cliche.
Good god, Iain.
ReplyDeletei tell myself time and over to stop dwelling in such wishful thinking; it gets me no where. but still, i dream on.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid that I'm slowly dooming myself into this future, a future spent without you; a future spent without anybody.
ReplyDeletei want to rip them all up and throw them away. i have nothing to give you anymore.
ReplyDeletei don't think you deserve them either.
Once again you stop me with the truth and beauty and pain and regret in your words.
ReplyDeleteEvery word you write surprises me even more. Before Kite Runner, I didn't realise men could express their hurt like this. I'm touched and I can't say that very often.
I still regret evey wrong word I said. May be because I never heard the right word or may be I never said ... once again I made u cry in sorrow n pain. I wish I could change. But I have n realised my mistake . Take me back forgive n forget the pain , for some change.
DeleteI'm starting to think the wedding will never come. Let alone the engagement. Would it kill to commit fully? Maybe I should just give up, or is it worth it to hold on. I have given too much time to this to not see it through. Would it be a waste if it all ended now? I have bigger dreams for this life of mine.
ReplyDeleteI have been a follower of this blog since 2008. And still when I click the random entry button, your posts still resonate just as deep as they did the first time. Thank you.
I'm starting to think the wedding will never come. Let alone the engagement. Would it kill to commit fully? Maybe I should just give up, or is it worth it to hold on. I have given too much time to this to not see it through. Would it be a waste if it all ended now? I have bigger dreams for this life of mine.
ReplyDeleteI have been a follower of this blog since 2008. And still when I click the random entry button, your posts still resonate just as deep as they did the first time. Thank you.