I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for.
You were meant to read these words.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
The Place You Used To Live
There's still a door here shaped like you. Boarded up, covered in chains and nails. Paper stuffed in the locks.
this is the second time there's been a new post after i finished reading the last one. its comforting to know that you were writing this as i was reading your old work.
For me, there are mostly you-shaped holes in the walls. Haphazardly papered over, perhaps, but easily ripped through with no effort at all, and no longer keeping out the cold.
Eventually, I suppose, there won't be any walls left to speak of at all, and I'll be left standing there under the open sky. But then, perhaps that isn't such a bad thing, really, when it comes down to it?
So why did my heart sink like that, when you talked about how you wished your crush would come tomorrow? And why, when I hate you so much... why do I have tears in my eyes?
Probably someday, this door will lighten and fade; replaced with another beautiful door that is truly worth my everything.
This door is the door to my heart. I locked you in just because. Because I never want to forget you Because I'm not willing to try to fall in love once more the way i did with you. Simply because of the fact, that I still love you. I still miss you.
Taking out those nails, taking out those shains, taking out those paper stuffed in the locks could only mean that i'm truly convinced that i'll never have you back in my life once more. and convinced that you will love her more than you loved me; convinced that she will love you more than i ever could.
I locked him out, but those chains remind ME never to go in....there are other rooms and places to love within the crevaces of one's heart...so there's no need to revisit someone's else's home, especially when no one's welcomed!...it's a place he nor I will ever go again....
there will always be an empty room in my house with a closed door marked with our name on it - a room i now understand you were never meant to live in with me.
but, god, if i somehow found ourselves in that room, i would never dream of leaving it again.
this is the second time there's been a new post after i finished reading the last one. its comforting to know that you were writing this as i was reading your old work.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading while I write :)
ReplyDeletei love yur words they are inspirational. i wait to see more all the time-yu give me inspiration.
ReplyDeletefollow me on inspirationalpoets.blogspot.com
Brittnicole-
whoa..amber is the color of your energy!..you are excuisitely romantic!..cant get enough of you..
ReplyDeleteFor me, there are mostly you-shaped holes in the walls. Haphazardly papered over, perhaps, but easily ripped through with no effort at all, and no longer keeping out the cold.
ReplyDeleteEventually, I suppose, there won't be any walls left to speak of at all, and I'll be left standing there under the open sky. But then, perhaps that isn't such a bad thing, really, when it comes down to it?
this is the door im standing in front of right now..
ReplyDelete& i cant help but wonder if im locking him out
or actually trapping myself in.
I love it!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI tried so hard to forget you.
ReplyDeleteSo why did my heart sink like that, when you talked about how you wished your crush would come tomorrow? And why, when I hate you so much... why do I have tears in my eyes?
Probably someday, this door will lighten and fade; replaced with another beautiful door that is truly worth my everything.
This door is the door to my heart. I locked you in just because.
ReplyDeleteBecause I never want to forget you
Because I'm not willing to try to fall in love once more the way i did with you.
Simply because of the fact, that I still love you. I still miss you.
Taking out those nails, taking out those shains, taking out those paper stuffed in the locks could only mean that i'm truly convinced that i'll never have you back in my life once more.
and convinced that you will love her more than you loved me; convinced that she will love you more than i ever could.
I cant take that.
No, not just yet.
So completely appropriate to my current... emotional condition. I locked someone out.
ReplyDeleteIt might be forever. I don't want to mourn though. Not again. I'm tired of mourning over that particularly shaped door.
I locked him out, but those chains remind ME never to go in....there are other rooms and places to love within the crevaces of one's heart...so there's no need to revisit someone's else's home, especially when no one's welcomed!...it's a place he nor I will ever go again....
ReplyDeleteAre the windows boarded up too or is a little light of hope coming in to melt those chains and nails of ice?
ReplyDeletei did left one window open. please climb in. you'll fit in just fine.
ReplyDeletei miss you.
love your writing.
ReplyDeletethere will always be an empty room in my house with a closed door marked with our name on it - a room i now understand you were never meant to live in with me.
ReplyDeletebut, god, if i somehow found ourselves in that room, i would never dream of leaving it again.
This is gorgeous. I read this blog every day, or when there are updates. Whichever happens every day :)
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't get how much this hurts. I don't get why it hurts. I'm trying so hard to move on but he's still here even though he isn't.
ReplyDelete