I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for.
You were meant to read these words.
My boyfriend said I made him nervous when I didn't answer that he had chosen death for me. This hits deep for me as something he would think if I were actually dead. Thank you...
As in, be excited because my name is currently flashing in your pocket because I just sent you a text. I know its all hormones and attraction and other transient stuff. But when this will all go away, I will look back fondly and be happy at my current pathetic state. Trust me, I've done this before.
Replaced by a less benign nervousness. Winces go without witness; even the overflowing emotion accompanied by hearing the joyous shred of words miles away cannot attest... to which you smirk. Silently knowing a face. Pain dances upon the mind that you carve a paradoxical knife into. Silently knowing a face. Nothingness this is and was vanished long before this malignant nervousness burrowed a home, infecting existent inner abscesses, killing them silently as the smirk of amusement sets upon like the setting sun. Silently knowing a face. Scrawling messily yet radiantly signed in glimmering invisible ink. Silently knowing a face. Will the hands of the signature bearer carve another history with a painful dissipation of lion's haunting the already fallen prey or willingly let the wounded go?
The frame waltzes in the mirror whilst catching a small glimpse of the familiar smirk of a walking, breathing paradox spitting love or . The pen tumbles, paper defies gravity while simultaneously setting the past ablaze like the shredded, mangled words in the smoldering scraps of ads from the morning paper.
It was wonderful, wasn't it, when it was all new. Sometimes I wish I could go back to it, too. If only we could go back and vacation in the us that was. Keep journeying with me. Lets enjoy the us that is. The us that will be will be different, no doubt, but I anticipate its sweet richness.
I'll try not to get too attached to the outcome. But it makes for a sweet, rich morning daydream now. (Oops, wrong layer. No wonder I'm back to sleeping in. Daytripping in Manhattan & coffee are fine). Package is on the way. Now, goodbye already :) See you when I see you, write me sometime. ox
When I'm nervous, I run; I hide; Then I seek; Then the circle just continue.. until you make me feel the way you does, You make me calm; You make me relax; You make me feel secure... Please don't be angry because I'm nervous.
Wow.. stumbled across this tonight. That is pretty much the opening statement I would like to say to every girl that I have ever dated.
ReplyDeleteHow strange is the feeling of missing...
ReplyDeleteWords stopped having a meaning so she left...
I wish it, too.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend said I made him nervous when I didn't answer that he had chosen death for me.
ReplyDeleteThis hits deep for me as something he would think if I were actually dead. Thank you...
As in, be excited because my name is currently flashing in your pocket because I just sent you a text. I know its all hormones and attraction and other transient stuff. But when this will all go away, I will look back fondly and be happy at my current pathetic state. Trust me, I've done this before.
ReplyDeletei just wish you could still make me feel anything at all..
ReplyDeleteIs that a good thing or a bad thing, hmmm?
ReplyDeleteand i wish she'd stop making me nervous.
ReplyDeleteI miss that feeling.
ReplyDeletehahaha. right on.
ReplyDeletemmm, I wish you stopped making me feel at all...
ReplyDeleteWell, that was long ago. I wondered if I made you nervous too.
ReplyDeleteThis made me want to cry.
ReplyDeleteI bet you do still make me nervous.
It was I who never made you nervous.
Replaced by a less benign nervousness. Winces go without witness; even the overflowing emotion accompanied by hearing the joyous shred of words miles away cannot attest... to which you smirk.
ReplyDeleteSilently knowing a face.
Pain dances upon the mind that you carve a paradoxical knife into.
Silently knowing a face.
Nothingness this is and was vanished long before this malignant nervousness burrowed a home, infecting existent inner abscesses, killing them silently as the smirk of amusement sets upon like the setting sun.
Silently knowing a face.
Scrawling messily yet radiantly signed in glimmering invisible ink.
Silently knowing a face.
Will the hands of the signature bearer carve another history with a painful dissipation of lion's haunting the already fallen prey or willingly let the wounded go?
Silently praying.
I need the ladder. No later then today.
Please.
Still standing, forever free, yet permanently scarred at the hands holding the gun before even one word was drawn by the guilty.
ReplyDeleteNo more roulette.
Tree ate one won. Watch.
The frame waltzes in the mirror whilst catching a small glimpse of the familiar smirk of a walking, breathing paradox spitting love or . The pen tumbles, paper defies gravity while simultaneously setting the past ablaze like the shredded, mangled words in the smoldering scraps of ads from the morning paper.
ReplyDeleteI'm Everet. Forever-ever-ever.
X______________________
...I just wish I made him nervous too.
ReplyDeleteI love this. I wish you still gave me butterflies.
ReplyDeleteYou don't make me nervous any more because looking at you is like looking into myself. You are my reflection. I love you.
ReplyDeleteThese are your wings my angel!
ReplyDeletei kinda sorta wish you still gave me butterflies.
ReplyDeleteI bet I could. Remember, it's been awhile.
ReplyDeleteIt was wonderful, wasn't it, when it was all new. Sometimes I wish I could go back to it, too. If only we could go back and vacation in the us that was. Keep journeying with me. Lets enjoy the us that is. The us that will be will be different, no doubt, but I anticipate its sweet richness.
ReplyDeleteI'll try not to get too attached to the outcome. But it makes for a sweet, rich morning daydream now. (Oops, wrong layer. No wonder I'm back to sleeping in. Daytripping in Manhattan & coffee are fine). Package is on the way. Now, goodbye already :) See you when I see you, write me sometime. ox
ReplyDeleteWhere did we go? What did we see?
ReplyDeleteMaybe it was time to shake the habit off of the skin.
ReplyDeletehttp://highlightmydarknesschasemybutterflies.blogspot.com/2011/12/first-thought.html
Melting the rigid awkwardness is what I want. Being fluid with you makes my heart flutter more wonderfully than fear freezing my insides out.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm nervous, I run; I hide; Then I seek; Then the circle just continue.. until you make me feel the way you does, You make me calm; You make me relax; You make me feel secure... Please don't be angry because I'm nervous.
ReplyDelete