"Is this how I'm supposed to feel now?"
"I don't know, I'll check the manual."
"And?"
"It says that you're feeling the right way."
"What way is that?"
"It says that there is no right way to feel but, right now, after something like this happens, you do need to feel however you're feeling and that feeling this way, however you're feeling, is healthy."
"That doesn't sound very scientific."
"It has nothing to do with science."
"Does it say anything else?"
"It says you'll break something if you beat yourself up for the way you feel and that you won't be able to feel differently until you've finished feeling this feeling."
"Ok. How long will that take?"
"I don't know. How do you feel?"
I'm ok with what I feel. But it irks me when I can't put a name to what I'm feeling.
ReplyDeleteDo all feelings even have names?
I hate to get in those 'tearing' modes - then I cry at every little thing, especially if my chocolate supply gets low.
ReplyDeleteExactly.
ReplyDeletethis is wonderful
ReplyDeletethank you
Beautiful writing as always Ian!
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I'm feeling today. It's hard and I hate it and I don't know how to deal with this thing that is happening to me. This gives me hope and lets me know it's okay.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to feel something, anyway. One day it will all make sense.
ReplyDeleteThank you for putting into words that which I have struggled with for a very long time. There are so many people I've tried to get this exact message across to and they never seem to get it.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it's the entire point, but I feel like your posts lately ARE for me. It helps, thank you.<3
ReplyDeletethis is really helps with this circumstances which im in now,
ReplyDeletethank you :)
Only you would know how to put this feeling to words. I love you. That hopeless, helpless, maddening and intoxicating kind of love.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being here.
Brilliant.
ReplyDeletei think i subconsciously write these.
ReplyDeletewhy do they always relate so well?
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ReplyDeleteMy favorite blog right here.
ReplyDeleteIt's taking
ReplyDeletetoo
damn
long.
I really needed to read this today.
ReplyDeleteI feel empowered. Bring it the fuck on.
ReplyDeleteIs that the big bad wolf knocking at my door?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBEAUTY.
ReplyDeletethis is oh my god
ReplyDeleteLike having a direct line to god... You be me, I'll be you. Feel. Suffer. Understand what's driving the frustation & anger. Contemplate fair solutions. Report back. Let's get right with each other. There's no way to heal in silence unless we meet each other half way. Pick one layer,peel it back together. Got to be present to leave. Got to work together to be separate. Got to know something in order to forget. Tell me what I need to know, help me understand. Will let go of the rest.
ReplyDeletethis is beautiful and wonderful and true and makes me feel like i am not alone even if no one else understands at all what i am feeling.
ReplyDeleteRide out the wave...
ReplyDelete"Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. It still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts."
ReplyDelete-The Last Kiss (2006)-
Well... This time..I'm not going to beat myself up for feeling the way I do. This time I'm not going to break that certain "something" by my own hands...or unspoken words. This time I'm going to jump. And if I don't fly...I hopefully land on my feet, being able to stand up straight again and even walk a brand new path.
ReplyDeletethis is how we survive.. by understanding that feeling isn't weak, it's natural. it's human, despite our preconceived notions.
ReplyDeleteYou are entitled.
ReplyDeleteAnd you will not be judged.
Never.
Iris
http://sheisiris.wordpress.com
PS. Why can't I comment on this site using OpenID anymore? I used to be able to.
I have just discovered and started following your blog. Your writing is powerful and amazing, and curiously hits me right where I live. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteand I am wondering if I am over-reacting.
ReplyDeleteyes... the feeling needs time to dissipate.. if it does ever go.