The Envy Of Wishes

You wake up with a list of all the people you'd rather be. But you're already on everyone else's list.

The Practical Guide To Consumables

You should eat to fill your stomach, not your soul. And drink to numb your thirst, not your pain.

The War To Save The Planet

You will not save the Earth, gunning down aliens from the back of your Hummer.

You will not save the Earth, smashing zombies in the face with a spade.

You will not save the Earth, standing on a burning car (your fist in the air).

You will not save the Earth by deciding which wire to cut (red/blue) at the last second.

You will save the Earth when you decide to start picking up your shit.

You will save the Earth when you decide to start picking up your shit on the beaches.

You will save the Earth when you decide to start picking up your shit in the fields and in the streets.

You will save the Earth when you decide to start picking up your shit in the hills.

And we shall never surrender.

The Superhero Struggling Up Stairs

Dear Diary,

Today I let the mask slip just a little and all the villains come flooding in.

While I don't expect you, as a book filled with lines, to understand my predicament, understand that I will be home late tonight. There will be blood on my costume. And the dishes will have to wait.

The Shop That Lets You Rent Happiness

"This is the one." The universe assures me from behind the counter.

"But I thought you said the last one was the one." I reply.

"No." Says the universe. "I sold you that one so you would know that this, this is the one."

"Is there another one?" I ask the universe.

"I can't tell you." They reply. "It'd ruin the surprise."

The Missing Exclamation Marks

You're ok. Breathe. Just breathe. Open your eyes. Come back. It's ok. It's over now. You're ok. Wake up. Please wake up. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. I love you so fucking much. Come back.

The Tender Tinder Box

You've made the air flammable. These walls are just paper. And blood is gasoline. You shouldn't have come here, made of fireworks, if you didn't want me to play with fire. I need a light.