And so, I wait because you have already left and my work here, is done. I wait and wonder how my skin feels like it’s made of love letters written a hundred years too soon (too late). I wonder at the mystery of life and how much of it can possibly remain. I wonder at pain and hurt and love and time and how much of each I held. I wonder at how I cannot remember anything in my life before I met you. I wonder at the tiniest of touches and try, desperately, to keep their memories alive. I wonder at loneliness. I wonder at how long it’ll be, before I see you again. I wait. And I wonder.
I've waited. Now I'm moving on, but still wondering ;)
ReplyDelete...And Yet truely, No-one but mine seen/ment/heard the true me/I. It only the pieces I choose to show/tell...Or pretended to display. Interesting thought isn't it? The Question is when/will, I give the real Me/I? As the seconds tick by, till I say my final goodbyes...
ReplyDeleteso beautiful. i love all your words.
ReplyDeleteI love this. It just captured my heart at once. You write beautifully. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is breathtaking.
ReplyDeleteYou read my mind tonight.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how much longer I can keep on waiting and wondering because it feels like I've been doing just that my entire life. I'm waiting for him to be the right person to stop me from wondering if he really is the right person. I'm wondering if it will really all be worth it, waiting so long.
this was ridiculously timely.
ReplyDeleteI wait. And I wonder!
ReplyDeletebeautiful!
And after waiting for you to return, for one glorious moment you did. In that moment, as I held you in my arms, my world was once again complete.
ReplyDeleteNow you've left once more, and I'm back to waiting and wondering.
This made me cry. You read my heart.
ReplyDeleteYou've provided words for an ache my heart had no idea how to say. I'm not sure if that makes me feel relieved, or if I ache even harder. But this was perfect. In every way.
ReplyDeleteI don't even feel alive right now. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of living.
ReplyDeletesleepwalking
ReplyDeleteMaybe really could be easy
ReplyDeleteOut of phase, I wait in the mute company of other flotsam on this forgotten slow still sunlit porch, gazing at an empty world. I struggle to hold you. But against all my efforts, even your face blurs. I wonder, does the thing itself fade, or only the memory?
ReplyDeleteI will never leave you, nor forsake you.
ReplyDeleteI will catch you when you fall.
Love is what's breathing you and I this very instant.
And the reason why I am hoping for a miracle is because I want this. I want to wake up next to you every morning so I can tell you I love you. The reason why this will take a miracle is because you will never ask me to leave, and I will never ask you to wait. And still, I hope.
ReplyDeletecompletely agree with anonymous 8:03
ReplyDeletei met someone a couple weeks ago at a christian camp i went to, and he completely changed my life, my point of view, my thoughts
then i sat down and actually had a long talk with him
and it was amazing. he listened to me like no other, and we grew closer
and now, well, i miss him.
still breathing, barely...dreaming of the day I will take your beautiful face between my palms and say "hello sunshine"...
ReplyDeleteWow. This is breathtaking. I'm in love with your blog.
ReplyDeleteI waited and I wondered and I wondered and I waited. I watched how you turned something that could have been beautiful to nothing.
ReplyDeleteAnd something has turned in me.
I do have feelings but you are not what I need. In other words, you can't handle them, you can't handle me. I am definitely not what you need.
In case you forgot, time does not wait. And by the time you read this, I will be fine. Thank you for waking me up. I AM ALIVE.
Actually darling, I am fine. You just don't know it...yet.
ReplyDeleteThis just about made me cry. This describes exactly where im at in life right now.
ReplyDeleteI love that you can impact so many people while getting your own words out there.
ReplyDeleteand so, I thank you for everyone who this post has touched in some way.
I'm starting to get a very depressing vibe from this blog. In fact, I suspect that some type of negative emotion triggered the change in mood as well as the transition from colour-photo to black-and-white.
ReplyDeleteSomething must have happened. I wonder if there was some kind of fallout in a relationship.
Whichever, the case, the posts on this blog have become so very sad and profound. I truly appreciate it.
I wonder...how much is left in me to give? What is left to give?
ReplyDeleteone can only wonder so much before time pushes you to move on. i'm waiting.
ReplyDeleteLOVE waits for one thing...
ReplyDeletethe right moment
<3
ReplyDeleteIt's miracle time baby
ReplyDeleteI long to feel this way and I dread it. I want to be able to remmber being loved I want to be the subject of hundreds of love poems but I don't know how I could bear it ending.
ReplyDeleteI guess I 'd have to wait and cry and write a hundred heartbroken poems till you came back or till someone read them all and came to find the love in them, or maybe not.
I hate that when you are heartbroken they tell you that you will find someone else. Who will I love, that will let me love them like this? Will I let anyone run amock in my private space again? I guess I will cos I will get lonely.
I guess I will move on, and let time wipe you from my mind. That fact is brutal and kind. Helps me to forget love and forget pain.
I wish you had died instaed of walking away, that way when I tell people about you they won't think of me as a saddo who can't let go. I wish they knew that feeling, maybe they would cry with me, sigh with me, like you used to.
I miss you so much, please come back.
I love the words... Brings an emotion we all seem to have lost along the way.....
ReplyDeleteI still love you with ally hart
ReplyDeletethis is beautiful. i hope you will include this in your book!
ReplyDeleteI love this. I wish I had your talent. Please keep inspiring me and putting my thoughts into words far more eloquent than I could ever write myself.
ReplyDeletei will wait forever for you. i will waste my forever on you.
ReplyDelete"You are in all our thoughts. And we will keep you there, safe and sound, until you feel better." -Written by you.
ReplyDelete...now dedicated to you.
We'll wait and we'll wonder in our own cages of loneliness.
So I assure you, right now you are lonely... but you are never alone.
It's as if you never left...
ReplyDelete& I have done nothing ever...but wait.
I waited for so long.
ReplyDeleteSomehow, you returned,
but it was all for naught.
We watched and waited
as the walls burned down around us
yet we still play with the embers.
Your lips burned against mine
Though what we did was wrong
And when you leave it will be pointless
But for the moment, it was all that mattered.
I got a cringe in my heart while reading your words...it's something I can't describe...I suddenely felt there, living through memories and looking for a future that isn't in this world with someone who deserted it a long time ago...
ReplyDeleteWell done!
ANON said...
ReplyDelete"I wish you had died instead of walking away, that way when I tell people about you they won't think of me as a saddo who can't let go."
Darling, I did die when I walked away. Your love is bringing back the ghost if me. Maybe soon I shall be resurrected, reincarnated, reborn. Don't wait for me, keep going. You will find what you need when time and place are right.
goddamn it, your writing really is beautiful
ReplyDeletesome of it reminds me of a more romantic or more serious version of asofterworld.com
really, though, this is just stunning
Sometimes, I wonder if the wait is really worth while.. he might be a whole new person the next time he appear.. will u still love him the same u do the last time? What happen then? Who do u feel sorry for then?
ReplyDeleteDear You,
ReplyDeleteI wish there were words I could give you, or at least the feelings in my hands.
I don't know how this could more perfectly describe one of the most challenging parts of my life. It almost scares me that you could access exactly what i'm feeling and write it. But I am not scared.
I want you to know that I love you. Parts inside of me have healed, when I didn't know I could heal them.
I'm still healing. Still reading your words. I wish that I could hug you and meet you one day. But I guess that's up to fate.
This girl, when I met her, it wasn't "I've met you." It's "I've found you again, and I have so much to tell you." My soul shook and I knew, and everything changed. And now i'm letting go. Because when you've tried everything you can, going against every grain, life knows better why it's not coming together. And I think, I will love her forever.