I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for.
You were meant to read these words.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
The Point Past Peak Feelings
I know you have feelings left somewhere. But they're all so hard to reach.
On certain days such as this I just want to be allowed to keep riding the high you provided me with on the day before. My feelings are as real as lava. <3
This is the first time I thought of this again, after reading your post. ( Im not just spamming some made up story!) Anyhow, I was in a nursing home showing some artwork ( cats) to the old folks and after my mini show, a couple ( 92 & 96) stayed in the parlor. The woman was talking about their previously owned cats and told me what her favorite cat art tile was. The man was quiet...hadn't said a word, but totally awake, and during a pause I asked him which tile his favorite was. His wife gently stroked his arm for a moment, waited, then said, "he likes the one with the cat sitting in the car the best". My first thought was that it was some kind of telepathic power, so I asked her how she knew what he thought without him saying. She said, "well,you see, he's always really loved cars".
The longer I stay, the more fear I have. If I disappeared someday, you know it's because that i can't handle the fear anymore. I don't want to die by accident. Me
I have feelings too. So many of them, all knotted up, in one big mess, right under this smooth mask of nothingness.
And I know yours are right there too.
And I also know that none of us will even try to reach for them, because if we do then whatever we do have right now, will break apart. And we wont be able to survive it the second time around.
P.S: It kills me to be just friends, but somewhere over the years (god it has actually been years...) I have become numbed to the pain..
For my feet keep me stable. But one portion of the body working together simultaneously for basic function. Most importantly the big toe. Nerve endings. Feelings. To live is to feel. To love is to feel. Without emotions life would seem insignificant. Explore. The possibilities are endless. Here.
even my self, couldnt figure out the place. I feel it, i know it lying there, hidden somewhere. If you have courage to search for it, i would be really happy. But maybe the second you find it, it will tear you and me apart..
I am sorry for what I said. I do not know why I get confused. Hold me in your heart I will hold you in mine. We can remember each other and our dream can finally come true. Don't forget me. Its time to go home. Right? Somebody told me that this is the place where everythings better and everythings safe.
I want to laugh... Honey, excuse me that I am slow to get that. I was suspicious of that and thank you for letting me know.. I feel more at ease to give him hugs and kisses. Love, Me
I never chose anything but thanks for letting me know. Sorry about the whole Scorpion thing. I just want Suze to always remember how lazy she really is. Cant never could do anything.
you are somewhat weird... :/
ReplyDeleteOn certain days such as this I just want to be allowed to keep riding the high you provided me with on the day before. My feelings are as real as lava. <3
ReplyDeleteI do. Me.
ReplyDeleteCome closer.
ReplyDeleteCome on. Show me those feelings still exist?
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I thought of this again, after reading your post. ( Im not just spamming some made up story!) Anyhow, I was in a nursing home showing some artwork ( cats) to the old folks and after my mini show, a couple ( 92 & 96) stayed in the parlor. The woman was talking about their previously owned cats and told me what her favorite cat art tile was. The man was quiet...hadn't said a word, but totally awake, and during a pause I asked him which tile his favorite was. His wife gently stroked his arm for a moment, waited, then said, "he likes the one with the cat sitting in the car the best". My first thought was that it was some kind of telepathic power, so I asked her how she knew what he thought without him saying. She said, "well,you see, he's always really loved cars".
ReplyDeleteCrying With A Sense Of Human
Maybe if you wouldn't give me that look, I'd let you know my feelings more often.
ReplyDeleteallow me to find them. i cant keep searching any longer.
ReplyDeleteIt best they stay that way. I think for now, it's best you don't know what feelings have been left behind, you may not like what you find.
ReplyDeleteThe longer I stay, the more fear I have. If I disappeared someday, you know it's because that i can't handle the fear anymore. I don't want to die by accident. Me
ReplyDeleteIf you don't mind... I would like to use this post. If you do, I definitely understand.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll just give up trying to reach them. Thanks for wasting my time.
ReplyDeletehard to reach or not, i have to believe they are still somewhere there. don't wait for me ; i am still searching for them.
ReplyDeleteEven this nothing is a feeling worth feeling. I'd take you here, but I'm not sure you'd like it like I do.
ReplyDeleteyaaaa...it is..it can not be reach i guess
ReplyDeleteyaaa..it is..can not be reach i guess
ReplyDeleteWhen will someone stand up for me?
ReplyDeleteStand up.
ReplyDeleteIt's because I'm easy to reach.
ReplyDeleteI have feelings too. So many of them, all knotted up, in one big mess, right under this smooth mask of nothingness.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know yours are right there too.
And I also know that none of us will even try to reach for them, because if we do then whatever we do have right now, will break apart. And we wont be able to survive it the second time around.
P.S: It kills me to be just friends, but somewhere over the years (god it has actually been years...) I have become numbed to the pain..
You taught me how serious the consequences of my actions are. I don't feel safe leave everything in your hands. Let's meet someday unexpected. Me
ReplyDeleteit is kept deep inside, where nobody knows.
ReplyDeleteFor real, you are not even my friend. You are my biggest enemy. I love you because you are a great lover in my imagination <3
ReplyDeleteI believe we will meet someday as equals in a conference room. Leave it to me even if you don't agree. Me
I will just tell you now that I am not telepathic and I have been fooled by love before.
ReplyDeleteI will never assume what your feelings are and I do have feelings of my own. I know exactly what they are!
You may never know because you are as protective of your heart as I have become.
I stand on my two feet every day. Provided with the strength to do so. Every day is a gift still standing.
ReplyDeleteI'm not upside down. I stand straight up.
ReplyDeleteFor my feet keep me stable. But one portion of the body working together simultaneously for basic function. Most importantly the big toe. Nerve endings. Feelings. To live is to feel. To love is to feel. Without emotions life would seem insignificant. Explore. The possibilities are endless. Here.
ReplyDelete.....I am tired now ...am giving up.....but why cant I stop looking back......
ReplyDeleteRicha
.....I am tired now ...am giving up.....but why cant I stop looking back......
ReplyDeleteRicha
the comments could be blog posts in themselves, really good stuff
ReplyDeleteand wow Iain, I couldn't have said it better myself
even my self, couldnt figure out the place. I feel it, i know it lying there, hidden somewhere. If you have courage to search for it, i would be really happy.
ReplyDeleteBut maybe the second you find it, it will tear you and me apart..
I am sorry for what I said. I do not know why I get confused. Hold me in your heart I will hold you in mine. We can remember each other and our dream can finally come true. Don't forget me. Its time to go home. Right? Somebody told me that this is the place where everythings better and everythings safe.
ReplyDeleteWhen the word of home cames into my mind, I always think about that glass box with a smile :) <3
ReplyDeletethe window is closing on forever..
ReplyDeleteI will hold you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms. Love, Me
ReplyDeleteThe feelings still exist. I promise.
ReplyDeleteBut I don't know how to show you.
I did once, but you didn't know what to say.
exactly how i feel right now.
ReplyDeletethank you.
But you reached mine, even though they were hidden just like yours are. We are enough. We are definitely enough.
ReplyDeleteI love you.
ReplyDeleteI'm not your lamb.
ReplyDeleteOh well then I will make my feelings quite clear.
ReplyDeleteI want to laugh... Honey, excuse me that I am slow to get that. I was suspicious of that and thank you for letting me know.. I feel more at ease to give him hugs and kisses. Love, Me
ReplyDeletei have too many feelings i wish i could let you see. but it would hurt you too much. to know how much i hurt.
ReplyDeletei dont want to hurt you.
My feelings died when you told me you love me, but then chose her...
ReplyDeleteShe is lucky and I hope she appreciates you and your feelings...
Broken...
I want to be with you but you keep pushing me away...
ReplyDeleteI chose to wait for someday.
Love, Me
I never chose anything but thanks for letting me know. Sorry about the whole Scorpion thing. I just want Suze to always remember how lazy she really is. Cant never could do anything.
ReplyDeleteI did not choose for my best friend to die. Im sorry, I wish things could have been different. Take care.
ReplyDeleteI love you so. Me.
ReplyDeleteThere is no way to explain how much I love you...and miss you when I am not with you...
ReplyDeleteBroken...