I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for.
You were meant to read these words.
Monday, July 11, 2011
The Absence Of Sunlight
If I'm nothing to you, then I'm not. And If this doesn't feel like anything, it isn't.
I don't remember talking to ANYONE much less a South African about Nebraska and me... so I am wondering 'how did you know?' that is how our relationship has metathasized..?
I just opened your page by accident, because I love your quotes and I was depressed. & it just hit the nail on the head. It's EXACTLY what I'm going through right now. Thank you.
I am everything to you. That's the worst part, because you can't even speak of it. I am everything to you but you say I'm nothing. I'm nothing am I? Then why do you return to me every time? If I'm nothing, just stop coming back. Stop. For me, it doesn't mean anything anymore because I can't feel you. I can't feel anything for you or towards you, not even anger. So this isn't a relationship or even a friendship. It is nothing.
It's that moment that's so quiet, so still. And then, the light breaks the silence and the birds join in. And you are blessed with this miracle everyday <3
I looked at the post. Started to continue down to the next. Stopped, came back to this one. And stared at it for a while. It describes a painfully complicated feeling, and it's exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
Oh, but it does, you just don’t know it You never really knew, and I was there Lurking through your hair, through your thoughts I was there, not now, not anymore, Can’t stand the light, I dim the sunlight in the day, to feel alive Then when I go to take a bath... later I’m not sure if I’m alone, I’m not sure I can think, And I don’t know what happened to my clothes, Where are they, so I go out naked in the world Yet no one can see me and I’m scared to fly, What if the wax will melt and my feathers leave my wings And no one would know where I fell... Would you then find me ?
Everything and Nothing July 18, 2011 - In Validation - If I was of no interest to you, why seek me out?
If you felt no connection, why let me in, even if only for a little while? You don't share family videos with strangers.
Especially not that one.
If you detested my queries, why did you reply thoughtfully?
If we had nothing in common, why lead me to new finds?
If you didn't want me to grow, why challenge me constantly?.
If you didn't want me to be interested in you, why the jealousy?
If you wanted me to be interested why push me away?
If you found me perfect, why seek to destroy?
If you found me flawed, why not support?
If I am everything to you (and I don't believe for a minute that I am), why won't you talk with me?
If I am nothing to you, why so much about projection about my feelings?
If you want me out of your life, why so much bait?
If you are not here, why are you reading this?
####
I don't believe you didn't care.
I don't disbelieve this was malicious sport.
I don't believe you are incapable of feeling nothing.
I don't disbelieve you are capable of feeling nothing.
I believe in your pain presence absence horror beauty apathy obsession love contempt capacity damage spirit emptiness existentialism insanity
I validate your validity. I validate your invalidity.
I would not make love to you, as an act of love.
I would spread my legs for you, in the absence of love.
I love who you aren't. I fear who you are.
I'm not lying. Yes, I am. No, I'm not.
Confused? Don't be.
Because you and I both know no matter who we are in the bodies we inhabit and the lives we blunder through the love and beauty we make, the hate and anger we fail to suppress, the fear and confusion we engender,
none of this has anything to do with what our souls understand without us.
Stunning photography - I wonder which comes first: the imagery or the words? They always seem to blend so perfectly.
ReplyDeleteFeel me.. Im not a ghost in daylight.. One day if you realize, maybe im no longer here..
ReplyDeleteI don't remember talking to ANYONE much less a South African about Nebraska and me... so I am wondering 'how did you know?' that is how our relationship has metathasized..?
ReplyDeleteI just opened your page by accident, because I love your quotes and I was depressed. & it just hit the nail on the head. It's EXACTLY what I'm going through right now.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
You belong to the night. I'll light your way.
ReplyDeleteYou need not be concerned, as you are my light and solace.
ReplyDeleteI am everything to you. That's the worst part, because you can't even speak of it. I am everything to you but you say I'm nothing. I'm nothing am I? Then why do you return to me every time? If I'm nothing, just stop coming back. Stop. For me, it doesn't mean anything anymore because I can't feel you. I can't feel anything for you or towards you, not even anger. So this isn't a relationship or even a friendship. It is nothing.
ReplyDeleteIt's that moment that's so quiet, so still. And then, the light breaks the silence and the birds join in. And you are blessed with this miracle everyday <3
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I have thinking all day.
ReplyDeleteIf without you I do not exist, I will merely hold my breath...
ReplyDeleteBroken
Even if you feel like it matters, it still doesn't.
ReplyDeletebeautiful... love it!
ReplyDeleteThat picture is beautiful! And this is like my life. I just wish some guys would get it.
ReplyDeleteI looked at the post. Started to continue down to the next. Stopped, came back to this one. And stared at it for a while. It describes a painfully complicated feeling, and it's exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteoh but darling You ARE. And the way that it's put feels like it could mean anything to anyone or everything every way I want it.
ReplyDeleteBut if you give me, just a glimmer of hope, just a glint of promise. I will hold on to it until as if it's the only thing keeping me alive.
ReplyDeletehttp://dearrabbit.tumblr.com/
Not anything to me. Sorry. I love staying cool in the shade.
ReplyDeleteOh, but it does, you just don’t know it
ReplyDeleteYou never really knew, and I was there
Lurking through your hair, through your thoughts
I was there, not now, not anymore,
Can’t stand the light, I dim the sunlight in the day, to feel alive
Then when I go to take a bath... later I’m not sure if I’m alone,
I’m not sure I can think,
And I don’t know what happened to my clothes,
Where are they, so I go out naked in the world
Yet no one can see me and I’m scared to fly,
What if the wax will melt and my feathers leave my wings
And no one would know where I fell...
Would you then find me ?
Everything and Nothing
ReplyDeleteJuly 18, 2011
- In Validation -
If I was of no interest to you,
why seek me out?
If you felt no connection,
why let me in,
even if only for a little while?
You don't share family videos with strangers.
Especially not that one.
If you detested my queries,
why did you reply thoughtfully?
If we had nothing in common,
why lead me to new finds?
If you didn't want me to grow,
why challenge me constantly?.
If you didn't want me to be interested in you,
why the jealousy?
If you wanted me to be interested why push me away?
If you found me perfect,
why seek to destroy?
If you found me flawed,
why not support?
If I am everything to you (and I don't believe for a minute that I am), why won't you talk with me?
If I am nothing to you,
why so much about projection about my feelings?
If you want me out of your life,
why so much bait?
If you are not here,
why are you reading this?
####
I don't believe you didn't care.
I don't disbelieve this was malicious sport.
I don't believe you are incapable of feeling nothing.
I don't disbelieve you are capable of feeling nothing.
I believe in your pain
presence
absence
horror
beauty
apathy
obsession
love
contempt
capacity
damage
spirit
emptiness
existentialism
insanity
I validate your validity.
I validate your invalidity.
I would not make love to you,
as an act of love.
I would spread my legs for you,
in the absence of love.
I love who you aren't.
I fear who you are.
I'm not lying.
Yes, I am.
No, I'm not.
Confused?
Don't be.
Because you and I both know
no matter who we are
in the bodies we inhabit
and the lives we blunder through
the love and beauty we make,
the hate and anger
we fail to suppress,
the fear and confusion
we engender,
none of this
has anything to do with
what our souls understand
without us.
Whatever that is.
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
ReplyDeleteFeel and feeling the sunshine <3
Let the sun shine. Love you, babe.
ReplyDeleteYou mean the world to me.
ReplyDeleteFor me there is only you.
ReplyDeleteAnd now there are dead spots and false notes emerging.
ReplyDeleteI don't want or need you. I want and need YOU.
ReplyDeletefalse notes.
ReplyDeletepick them up.
celebrate
Yes, with gratitude. Waste not, want not.
ReplyDelete