I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for.
You were meant to read these words.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
The Reminders Still Take Me
Nothing is faster than the speed of thought. I can look at anything and think of you.
And here I am, thousands of miles away from the spaces I shared with you and yet, it only takes a second to remember you and for the hurt to start again ....
Saying that I think of you would be a lie, I don't even have to think of you anymore, you just appear into everything, any time, every day. And all it does is make me miss seeing you.
Quite the contrary as my heart, mind and soul knows YOU more stridently than anyone might assume or imagine. (A side effect of your being perpetually on my mind.) An "effect" that I cherish and value as the singular most positive influence in my life, as it continually stands. For a long while now; as well as still... NOW.
What perplexes me is one burning question, which is to say: why not "see" me, not via the shadowy haze but rather... at least the bright backlight of our matching digital screens? (F.T.?)
I love those little reminders of you speeding through my consciousness. It's a warm burning sensation like lightening kisses deep within. Really hope that never ends.
My very world stops at the " thought" of your existence. by simply knowing that you are "out there"...thinking, breathing, perhaps "seeing" what I see.....brings me a moment of joy and an enternity of sadness.......
Right, but its thinking of me that got you lost in the first place. It's the thoughts you had and how often they ran through your precious, beautiful mind, that made you the person you are today. And I know you thought it was out of love, but it wasn't. It was never love at all, it was power. And that's the kind of thing I've had to begin standing up to. That's why you are where you are, in your dim grey world of nothingness waiting for a taste of freedom again, registered as so many incriminating titles that really will hurt you and that is why I am here, behind a set of keys telling my story anywhere i can knowing you won't find it, because if you do you'll be there longer and the break in my heart will be deeper. And I know you won't understand this, but I'm done hoping that things are ok. I am done thinking that someday things will be better and we will try again. Because we won't. While you're busy living in the past I'll be creating my future.
And that's why my world is unbearable.
ReplyDeleteand honestly i don't mind thinking about you all the time. as long as it keeps your presence alive in my mind.
ReplyDeleteThis one is so sweet it produced two tears. And did you know? You are perpetually on my mind, regardless of whether I am awake or asleep. <3
ReplyDeleteIain, your words are my soul's ghost; it's deepest ache, anguish and passion. Someone knew just what he was doing by leading me here.
ReplyDeleteAnd here I am, thousands of miles away from the spaces I shared with you and yet, it only takes a second to remember you and for the hurt to start again ....
ReplyDeletei love you too.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I can't help but leave a comment... this post is an example of a story I have to leave some sort of comment on... amazing
ReplyDeleteI feel you when you think of me.
ReplyDeleteSaying that I think of you would be a lie, I don't even have to think of you anymore, you just appear into everything, any time, every day. And all it does is make me miss seeing you.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the most brilliant lines I've ever read. Wow.
ReplyDeleteI hate to think about you all the time. Because it aches. And I see you in everything and that aches even more. But you don't even know me...
ReplyDeletePowerful~
ReplyDeleteQuite the contrary as my heart, mind and soul knows YOU more stridently than anyone might assume or imagine. (A side effect of your being perpetually on my mind.) An "effect" that I cherish and value as the singular most positive influence in my life, as it continually stands. For a long while now; as well as still... NOW.
ReplyDeleteWhat perplexes me is one burning question, which is to say: why not "see" me, not via the shadowy haze but rather... at least the bright backlight of our matching digital screens? (F.T.?)
I "have your back" and you have my heart. <3
Love,
Me
It wouldn't help if I was blind either.
ReplyDeleteYou know, sometimes I wish I would just wake up one day and you've completely slipped from my memory.
God I wish you felt for me the way I feel for you...
ReplyDeleteBroken
I love those little reminders of you speeding through my consciousness. It's a warm burning sensation like lightening kisses deep within. Really hope that never ends.
ReplyDeleteIt is far better that we are miles apart for when we are sitting next to each other that is the time I am missing you the most. :(
ReplyDeleteI remember. How could I forget? You're like a poison without an antidote. You haunt me even in my sleep. But no, I will forget you. Not just today.
ReplyDeleteI remember. How could I forget? You're like a poison without an antidote. You haunt me even in my sleep. But no, I will forget you. Not just today.
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely beautiful. And true for more than one person, but all people.
ReplyDeleteWow. Another one of those lines that I wish I wrote, but didn't because, well, I couldn't. So thanks to people like you who can, and do. (=
ReplyDeleteEverything reminds me of you, you know that. I think of you constantly. I hope you feel it.
ReplyDeleteFeel it? I live it... My thoughts are hurting of you.
ReplyDeleteGuiness,. The reminders still take me.
ReplyDeleteMy very world stops at the " thought" of your existence. by simply knowing that you are "out there"...thinking, breathing, perhaps "seeing" what I see.....brings me a moment of joy and an enternity of sadness.......
ReplyDeletelitterally true.
ReplyDeleteThank you for these words... 8..)
ReplyDeleteYour unwelcome place in my mind fades a little more with every brand new day.
ReplyDeleteRight, but its thinking of me that got you lost in the first place. It's the thoughts you had and how often they ran through your precious, beautiful mind, that made you the person you are today. And I know you thought it was out of love, but it wasn't. It was never love at all, it was power. And that's the kind of thing I've had to begin standing up to. That's why you are where you are, in your dim grey world of nothingness waiting for a taste of freedom again, registered as so many incriminating titles that really will hurt you and that is why I am here, behind a set of keys telling my story anywhere i can knowing you won't find it, because if you do you'll be there longer and the break in my heart will be deeper. And I know you won't understand this, but I'm done hoping that things are ok. I am done thinking that someday things will be better and we will try again. Because we won't. While you're busy living in the past I'll be creating my future.
ReplyDelete