Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Colours Of What I Have












All I want, is for you to want this.

All I need, is for you to need this.

All I have, is what I don't.

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm giving you crayons to not give up.

Guiding Spirit said...

And I can't get past that emptiness ..

Anonymous said...

Self-knowledge and self-acceptance are such traps for learned helplessness. Victim-hood gets old. When are any of us at the outer limit of our capacity. For God's sake, grow, dammit! (How do I feel about that?)

Anonymous said...

Ik wil dat en heb het nodig.

Anonymous said...

All I have is what I don't.
Spent time with rich kids and you realise you don't want the things they are wearing, you want to be original.

All I have is what I don't.
I loved you enough to let you go.
I love myself now even more.

Goodbye my sweet lullaby time has come to set you off.

Big Mark 243 said...

I like the line that the Guiding Spirit left...

cartographerofyourhair said...

you are all that i want.
you are all that i need.
you have me, you just aren't looking hard enough.
[like you asked so long ago, yes, your blue is very much the same as mine.]

Anonymous said...

I don't believe you know what you want...

I don't believe you know what I need...

I don't believe I ever had you...or ever will

Broken

Anonymous said...

all i have, is what i don't.
because i willingly gave it all to you.

Anonymous said...

Please colour the bullies away.

Anonymous said...

Broken,

I know only what I can give...

Your thoughts are just too hard to follow...

You've always had me. You will stay in my heart forever. Believe you always will.

Shattered

Anonymous said...

all I want is for you to need me.

Anonymous said...

I needed you so badly in my life. I love to envision that the universe heard my whispered wishes… and delivered. In it's "own" kind, cruel way. And I'm grateful, yet remain wanting more of what I know I need - more and more. And more. I'll gladly gobble up what I can get but admit I simply want more. In what capacity exactly I couldn't begin to surmise.

This shadowy obscurity. The view is spectacular. But I'd love to join you in the sun sometime. We have countless reasons to wink at one another and smile and I love that. I love our relationship. I love you.

klara said...

Beautiful.

Anonymous said...

I'm listening, sweetheart. I feel pieces of you permeate our shadows. I sense things you cannot tell me, that perhaps you are protecting me from things or people outside your personal control. I trust you're doing the best you can. I feel you growing and it heartens me. You know that I would give myself to you completely; we both understand you need far more than I will ever be able to give you. If your heart is growing, the need to catch up and fill it will be insatiable. It may cause new grief and wreckage; it's better for us both if I don't get caught in that.

I'm grateful for all you've said. I hope we can be together someday, when what we bring to each other will be enough. But the only outcome I'm attached to is the one where you transcend pain to truly know love and peace in this life. As much as I want & need you, I still can't shake the feeling the universe wants me here for you differently - in spirit, as a source of unconditional love and support. I accept and embrace that.

"We have countless reasons to wink at one another and smile and I love that. I love our relationship. I love you." (grin....) Best hug you could have sent. Kiss on the forehead back, tears against your cheek. Love you too. So much. Oh so very, very much. I'll be with you on 9/3 - pleiades and stardust. me

Anonymous said...

All I want is for you to give me a hug. Hold me for little while, please.

zonedin said...

All I wanted is the truth of what this was all about. You could never give me that. I asked in every way I could muster and still nothing. I have nothing from you but pain and emptiness. There's not even anything to write about anymore. You killed everything with your noble silence. You wouldn't even share your crayons. "All I have is what I don't"...the truth.

Anonymous said...

:)
you make me happy.

Anonymous said...

of course I want, need and love this.

what I don't have is half a clue to how you learned to view love in that incandescent way.

what I don't have, is a cup of tea and the company of someone like you.

Blurs of Joy said...

So helpless to that feeling of belonging. Of necessity. The longing to have that person waiting in the bed you crawl into on a long day. The ache for that someone to be waiting outside for you as you leave the office on a rainy day, donning a sheepish grin as they clutch an umbrella too small even for him.

You always forget the power coursing through you. That picks you up on the gloomiest days and keeps your emotions in check. You forget it is he who needs you more than you need him.

You don't realize how wide your smile is when he's not around. How full your laughter is.

We miss having you around

sheisiris said...

All you saw was me.
All you knew was what you wanted.
All you took was everything.

And I,
all I wanted was you.

Anonymous said...

This gives my life some kind of profoundness. Lately, I guess I've been lacking.

Anonymous said...

I'm leaving this place.

m said...

I've been sleeping with those crayons in my hands, in the hopes that in the deep of my sleep I will find the courage to color my world, once again
don't give up hope for me, yet; I'm still shading in, drawing lines


thank you

Anonymous said...

all i need and all i want is you but i'll never have you

i found my home and you exiled me

and i still travel sometimes around the stars to get a glimpse of you... in vain... i will soon find my self again curled in a bed of sadness.
All i wanted was you to fly with me, to show you around the beauties of the heights..
All i want is what I don't and i can't stop longing for having a tiny more of a fraction of a second with you
n-neverland

Anonymous said...

Shattered,

I never had all of you...you never let me in....

Broken

Anonymous said...

I hope you now have what you need because I've been bled dry, devoid of any colour now; devoid of hope - for you, for us. How could you?

Anonymous said...

Broken,

Sometimes I feel that if you knew what I knew, you would want to be kept out. You may not have had all of me, but you had the best of me.

Shattered

Anonymous said...

Hi, Mr. Monkey,

This is me, still the same. I am as shattered as you are. You and I, US, is a dream that will never come true. Its hard but we have to accept what it is. You are the perfect male version of myself.

Loving you is loving myself.

XO

Me

Anonymous said...

never say never
I'll be waiting you you, long before n-ever, ever land

Anonymous said...

@ everland

even if i shall not say 'never' again
...you said it to yourself...you had me, there, in a cosmic explosion of love, just like that which takes place...before the stars and galaxies are created..

if you had ever been waiting for me, you would have let me know

It's ok. I fell a bit unexpectedly from the high altitudes... the left wing is a bit wounded...
but I will fix it - I ll take off...soon...

.. to fly over the horizon - nature rules - the rest is philology

if I see you... I'll kiss off into the air - for the love you inspired in me and i travelled the skies and the seven deep blue seas...priceless!

east-south, above your head.. Apollo makes music and Dionysus dances his soul out :-)

n-neverland

Anonymous said...

All you want, is all I want; All you need, is all I need; All you have, is all I want to have; Although even nothing but you is enough for me because all of you is all I want, need & have; I'll eat my pain & support you.