Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Cape Town, Good News, Bad News

Cape Town, I have good news and bad news.  The good news is that I'm here. The bad news is, with the chaos of organising and preparing the Johannesburg reading, there wasn't time to properly get a venue. More bad news: The Johannesburg reading went so well, I sold out of every single copy of I Wrote This For You I had and there were quite a few. I honestly wasn't expecting that and thought I was prepared. Obviously I wasn't and I can only sincerely apologise.  Now back to the good news, I'm in discussions with The Book Lounge in Cape Town and there's a good chance they'll be the sole distributor here of signed copies of the book and we're also talking about a reading there in the future and when I say the future, I mean soon.  My humblest, sincerest apologies. I love you and I honestly can't wait to meet you.  - Me  PS. This is the most beautiful city in the world.

I Read This Out Aloud For You

"So what the hell is all this? I don't know. I don’t know what I'll write let alone what people will like when I wake up each morning. I do not know what Jon, the photographer of I Wrote This For You, will send me. I believe this is why I still enjoy it. 

 Perhaps, in some sense, it is the witnessing of someone else's life. A way to let someone know that someone does in fact care and is documenting the incredibly angelic and traumatic things that happen to them on their way through this house of mirrors and broken glass that we call, life."

Monday, February 27, 2012

The Relative Phenomena

I would do my taxes. Fill out insurance forms.

Count grains of rice in a bag.

Whatever made time pass the slowest with you.

Friday, February 24, 2012

The Standard Operating Procedures

No matter how hard you try, you will never be stranger than what the world considers normal.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Things We Are Supposed To Be

Just so you know, I don't. And I refuse to care.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Strangest Voice

You'll forgive me but I'm professionally curious. I'm paid to be interesting. I'm indebted to mystery.

And perhaps you have thought that because I use simple words, I am an idiot savant who does not understand bigger ones, but I've experienced such limerance from a simple dulcet daliance with complexity that I've come to believe that such things almost always destroys a decent dénouement, which as I previously stated, is what I'm here for. 

Hence, I apologise again but I'm here for the intrigue. I'm here for the plot. For the exposition and if there's time for one more, a refrain.

So I'm not interested in what you have to tell me.

I am only interested in the things, you cannot say.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Grinning Fool

Each night, somewhere out there, people go to bed, petrified that I might be happy as I am.

And I wake up each day and make their worst fears come true.


I hope you're happy.

Monday, February 20, 2012

27 Feb - Reading Live At NewClr In Johannesburg

I will be reading a selection of work from the I Wrote This For You project and signing books/iPads/kindles at: 

70 Juta Street 
(CNR Juta & DeBeer) 
Monday 27 February 2012 

Check these guys out, buy their art, go to their gallery and support those who are kind enough to support you and me. 

I'll see you there. 

 - pleasefindthis 

PS. There will be a small amount of books for sale at the venue for R280 each and some very, very limited edition books will be available for sale for R350.00 - these are signed and personalised by me and each one includes an original, handwritten page from the journals and diaries where I Wrote This For You happens. 

This will be the first time any signed copies are made available for sale. 

If you have your own copy or would like my signature on something else, that's absolutely free, as is entrence to the event.

PPS. I'm still looking for somewhere to read in Cape Town so if any local business there would like a lot of attention drawn to them from me in exchange for enough room for me and a few people to read a book, between the 3rd/4th of March, email me at pleasefindthis at gmail dot com.

The Violent Peace

You kill death every day that you live. 

And I do my best to murder hate whenever I have the chance to love.

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Day You Shot Me In The Back Of The Head

The sun rose like it does on any other day, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.

I'd just made coffee and you'd come back from doing the groceries and I asked if you wanted some without turning my head to look at you, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.

And I hit the floor so slowly and so hard and without any real warning, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.

I knew we'd had our differences and our silences but I didn't expect it to end like this, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.

I thought there'd be more time, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.

If I was still alive at that point, I imagine I'd smell cordite and sulphur filling the room and hear the echoes bouncing off the walls, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.

I imagine there was a look of surprise on my face, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.

I wonder if you thought you were being merciful by waiting until I wasn't looking, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.

I probably stared off at a distant point, while you gathered your things together and left, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.

And I know that my body was there for a while and that the room was dark and that it was very quiet, because of what you'd done, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.

But what you might not know, is that I got up.

And washed my face.

And the sun rose again.

On the day after you shot me in the back of the head.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Stuff And The Things

If you like a whole bunch of things and I like a whole bunch of things, maybe one of the things that we both like, can be each other.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Shot Stars

If your star falls down, you will find mine lying beside yours.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

I Wrote This For You. On Tour.

I will be available for speaking/readings in the following places on the following dates.

Johannesburg, South Africa. 
27-29 February 

Cape Town, South Africa. 
2-4 March 

SXSW/Austin, USA. 
9-12 March 

New York, USA. 
14-23 March 

Now, I've spoken to my tour manager, who is me and he's indicated that because everything's been finalised at the last minute, we are not booked into any venues in any of these places.

So if you yourself or someone you know works at or owns an independent book store*, art gallery, library or other venue that would like me to bring some people into it and draw a considerable amount of attention to it online, email me at pleasefindthis at gmail dot com and we'll sort something out.

You provide a microphone and a PA system, I'll read, answer questions and sign books and iPads or kindles.

Hopefully, I'll see you soon.

My best to you,

- Me

*Independent book stores or libraries will be given vast preference over chain stores.

The Things I Meant

A heart was meant to beat. And air was meant to be breathed, close to your ear. And your skin was meant to remember what mine felt like. And some songs were meant to play on repeat. And the sun was meant to come down. And we were meant to ignore it when it woke up. And days were meant to pass. And nights were meant to follow. And your eyes were meant to cry out whatever pain was left.

And I never meant to hurt you.

But I guess that's what everyone says.

Monday, February 13, 2012

The Longest Shadow

You know what I would do for love. But no one ever asked me how far I would go, for loss.

Friday, February 10, 2012

The Last Word

I have an incredibly sad announcement to make.

I will be turning the comments off on I Wrote This For You, permanently, on Monday. You have today and the weekend to say whatever you'd like to say on the posts and I will moderate all the comments for the last time on Sunday night.

Unfortunately, with how popular I Wrote This For You has become, it has attracted a small but vocal range of nutjobs, psychos, stalkers and generally, incredibly mean people. Which is why the comments are moderated.

For every message I get about how something I've written has changed someone's life (thank you) or how someone was contemplating the unthinkable when something I'd put down, pulled them back (you did that yourself), I get 99 harassing, toilet-door style, insulting and completely unacceptable messages that do nothing but pollute the platform I've spent years trying to create, to express love and truth.

These people are the scum of the earth and don't deserve a second more of my or your time. They can learn to obsess over something else if their lives are really that devoid of meaning, as from what I can tell, they wake up every day thinking of me.

Which would be flattering if their minds, hearts and souls weren't so tragically empty and lost.

If you would like to share a story, or comment, you are free to do so via twitter, facebook or email me at pleasefindthis at gmail dot com. I will do my best to regularly publish a round up of the best comments received on those platforms.

You will always be beautiful and I'm sorry I have been forced to take this scorched earth option to protect you from these monsters.

Thank you,

- Me

PS. If it is any small consolation, there's a good chance that I'll be announcing the opportunity to say whatever you'd like to say to me, in person. No promises but, watch this space.

The Billions Of Pieces

The human heart is made from the only substance in the universe that can become stronger, after it's been broken.

An Object Of Beauty

We will be working on creating an object of pure beauty with musical phenomena, BT (he created the backing track for The Unexplaining Of I Wrote This For You) for his next album. He announced this several hours ago, so I feel free to speak about it now.

If you'd like a sneak preview, have a listen here.

As I've said before, it sounds like someone running their fingers through your hair. To me at least.

Hopefully to you too.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Similarities Didn't Make Us The Same

You spend your whole life learning what you shouldn't care about. Until one day you find out you didn't care enough.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Defect At The Heart Factory

There is no heart you can have that another heart will not have a problem with.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The Sun Will Freeze Before I Do

I promised a lot.

But never that I wouldn't get back up after you knocked me down.

Never that my broken remains wouldn't catch fire. 

Never that I wouldn't burn through the ice and snow one more time.

And you can slam your glaciers into to me, so slowly, and even though they hurt, I will not go numb from the cold, I will not pass out from the pain, I will look up at you and the world and whisper through bloody teeth


Monday, February 6, 2012

The Tides Goes Out Like The Air In Your Lungs

And now?

Star the night.

I'll night the stars.

And now?

Breathe my breath.

I'll breath your breathing.

And now?

Speak under the water.

I'll water this speaking.

And now?

Until you are still.

I will always be still.


And now.

Friday, February 3, 2012

The Light From Frozen Graves

"But I just want to stop feeling."

"As far as I can tell, there's only one way to stop feeling and that's to die."

"That seems a bit drastic."

"It is drastic. Perhaps the most drastic thing there is. There are other ways to kill feelings, like drinking a lot or working hard, constantly, pushing those around you as far away as possible until there's no way for you to reach out to them but ultimately, the only way to completely stop feeling, forever, is to die."

"I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

"Good. You'll be a better person for it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that the most interesting, amazing people I've ever met, the ones who influenced and shaped the universe itself, are the ones that felt too much but lived through it."

"That sounds hard."

"It is. It involves living."

Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Storm Before The Calm

You're still here but I am still the sea. And as peaceful as I seem, please don't ever turn your back on me.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Things I Have Felt Have Torn Me Apart

Those who walk away from you in the dark should be forgotten in the light.