Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Trauma Transmission






















I built a tower amongst the trees.

Where time waits amongst the leaves.

I use it to send out messages to the world.

In hope that one day, you'll find one, and then find me.

Waiting for you. Amongst the leaves.

32 comments:

My Other Eden. said...

(:

Anonymous said...

I wrote a postcard for a "friend" that I never sent. Instead I posted it on a wall of a cafe hoping that maybe one day he'll find it. I believed that if it is meant to be he'd find it somehow, someway. He hasn't found it yet. So I guess we're not meant to be.

Arian Tejano said...

teary-eyed :(

Anonymous said...

Desperate for the rhymes of time. No two people are "meant" to be, unless they develop their own meaning. Meaning? One is tied to another, a pitfall of imagination. In our search for independence, we find co-dependence. Eye to eye, let's not read into things that were never there. I'll find you, because you found me.

Anonymous said...

I adore this post. I "found" you years ago. And I haven't looked away even once ever since.

M said...

P.S. I'm clearing out some space for you. A guest room, I guess you could say, or perhaps etwas geistraum. ;)

I'm also going to have a new chair installed on the bridge for you. (Or perhaps I should say, oh agile-fingered ghostwriter, for your boss?) We've been getting in a new crew to staff the starship, which has helped a lot, but I think a pair of Captain's chairs might finally get the warp drive working.

-dynamite with a laser beam! :)

Anonymous said...

to 2nd comment anonymous:
if that person is especially important to you then please don't just leave a postcard on a random place for him to find.sometimes you have to help your luck a little.WE determine our fate.entually he might find it but what if he doesn't?and what if he doesn't get it?it is a very romantic gesture from you but if he's worth it, if you want it to be what you call "meant to be", do something more.At least you have the chance when I don't.
So please do :)

Candy said...

You have such a way with words. It's beautiful.

Máh said...

but you didn't find me... did the trees grow too much? or did it take too long, too long... was I not there anymore?

She said...

Why cant you hear me? Why cant you hear the silent sobbing of my heart? Why cant you hear that I have been calling out your name ever since the day you left? Why do you want to do this to us? Why cant you hear me? Why?

I am waiting for you right where you left me, but it aches because Im so fucking alone.

&on&on said...

I did find one.
When I called the number on the leaf,
a message said you were out of town.
Tell me when you come back.

WarmSunshine said...

this is sweet :)

nouri said...

I am insanely in love with symmetrical things. <3

Anonymous said...

To the 7th comment anonymous.

He never got the postcard but I still told him how I felt. It didn't work out.

zonedin said...

Just as the wind blows through the leaves, I will soar through the Universe with you.

M said...

Tango foxtrot ja, liebe meister. Show me the 'way.

circles. said...

You are my exception. The one that I have changed plans for and my outlook on life for and did not regret it. I have loved you with every molecule of me & given you my everything but somehow it is not enough. The smiles and laughs no longer fill the air, only now stale silence of our stale love, lingers. I can not take this anymore, where did we go wrong? This was all so brilliant and wonderful, now to hear the words that you speak cuts me deep. I wish you cared and i wish it mattered to you how you hurt me, but i can never justify your actions as caring. I wish you took your share of responsibility in all of this but some how I think that is gone along with your love. Why do you insist on putting yourself through this misery you talk about? All I ask for is for you to love me like you once did but as your love fades so does mine and with it my hope for our future. The one we planned in the quiet of the night while tangled in my sheets and in your arms, while you whispered to me, "you're beautiful". How I long for those words now even if they didnt have one ounce of sincerity to them, like they used to be so full of. I am sorry if I am difficult and stubborn, those are qualities that I wish were different and work to improve but I was once told that there is someone out there who will love you despite them, and somehow I thought you could be that nostalgic prince I always read about in the books when I was a little girl. Maybe this is really me? Maybe I'm the one to blame for all this and you dont have to claim responsibility for any of it, but then again that wouldnt be a relationship, would it? But then again what were we even to begin with? I Love You.

Arabella Arabesque said...

Ohh, aren't we just so tragic. Drowned Werther-yellow is no good on you, shining one. You dew-drop, you beautiful coincidence, you slight and dancing photon lance amid pinball dust motes - why so serious? Gravity is not for you and I.

N and I are two pieces of the same thing. 13+14=27. Inseperable, like a cadecus or dna. We are the rainbows scattered by each other's light. If you are saddened by such a glad thing then my respect for you lessens.

If you can pick yourself up off the floor, bright one, artist, composer, you can be part of the dance. Aren't you already? How could you not be? Remember your own lesson, doctor - love will cut you to pieces and burn you to ash, but you should accept it with open eyes regardless, because otherwise, there is nothing.

Jon said...

葉隱

Anonymous said...

The best blog I've ever seen :) <3

The Dying. said...

I wish I had an explanation for why you must wait.. but is it not faith that binds us? The part that puts the meant with the to be. I might have found you before, but i've lost you as well.. Promise me that if you ever find me, you'll never let go..? Please promise me?

my innerfeeling said...

i like the poem though it's heart teaching

Anonymous said...

Two confused souls, both stuck in a location where neither wants to be.

What are you thinking? No, what are YOU thinking?

Here's an ambiguous hint, figure it out then find me there.

You had it for me! No, YOU had it out for me!

I obsess over the trivial, the unimportant. What does it all mean? Who's looking, who's watching? A delusional paradox of abstraction and paranoia. I make the world my audience, you didn't say a word. Look at me, watch me crash and burn! A clash of egos, miscommunications. I don't think you're the one, I don't think you're anyone.

You were never my obsession, not being obsessed was my obsession. I see the worst of me in you, intrigued by my own imperfections. I hate you, but you need to understand. Do you feel me? Do you get it? Tell me yes and I'll leave you alone, pulled by the weight of my own hypocrisy. Mental masochism at its worst.

I don't care anymore, but I care that I even cared in the first place. What was I thinking? Who was I trying to impress? I'll take my hatred out on others, if only she knew.

Too fast, too hard. I'll make them all my enemy. You didn't do this, you didn't do anything.

I've revealed too much, do I even believe my own lies? What's your side of the story?

I won't wait any longer, there's no prize at the end of the rainbow.

I hate the internet.

Hopeless Romantic said...

I was always waiting there. I never once left. But you never bothered to come and find me.

M said...

Eloi, if you are who I (fear) think you are, then, I - yeah. Yeah, I promise. I promise.

But what we've been doing doesn't count as finding. I need something more solid. You're making me feel twisted-up and insane and it's not something I can put up with for long. I'm willing to accept that maybe there's something to this madness, and I'm entirely willing to believe you if you'd just quit beating around the bush and set it on fire instead. I'm sorry if that's too fickle and subtle for you. I can be a little Teutonic in that way - I can't stay on the surface and have to sink right to the bottom, but only because I'm so heavy. But that being the case, I need more the crazy spiderwebs to hold me up, and you should already know that anyway. It know it takes two to tango and I won't bow out or quit listening, but I refuse to be driven mad when life is so ripe and beautiful and perfect.

Alyssa said...

Where were you yesterday? I needed you.

Nicole said...

I send things about him to PostSecret, and figure if and when any of them actually make it on the site, it will be my sign to go after him. Until then I wait.

NovaMai said...

You could dial direct,it would save all the confusion of broken hearts & bare souls scattered across these lines>>an awful lot of people are falling in love with you>>it's probably not fair really...hmmm?

N.Ali said...

"...the sun on the leaves
and the wind in the trees
sends a message on the breeze
of freedom..."

N.Ali 1994

M said...

I don't get it. I thought I knew who you were, but if I did, you wouldn't be freaking out so much. I'd like to know, and I'm listening, I just insist on not being confused on purpose.

Or - actually, maybe I do get it? I think maybe I do see why you're upset. If you mean to say that I'm narcissistic and self-important for thinking that you were so much more concerned with me myself rather than with everyone and everything, then I guess I can see where you're coming from. I'm sorry I'm a little obsessive lately; I've been under a lot of stress. I'm still working on me.

If you're trying to use weak clay to form a base for a bronze sculpture, you have to be careful that the clay is strong enough. It needs a confident, sensitive, masterful hand. Along the same lines, you can't expect a lower creature like a dog to understand a trick it's being taught the first time. You have to show them how, and if you're showing them something a bit above their heads, you have to patient; it takes them a while to pick it up.

I'm still listening, you know. I'm entirely willing to be humble. I think I'm strong enough to learn your tricks; you just have to show me. Maybe together we can figure out a breed standard. ;)

I don't want to be the chosen one, anyway. I just want to live my life. I have a lot to give, and no reason not to give it to you.

Lito DeMesa said...

The fragment of words keep me humming for a meaning and I'm still trying to decipher. Honestly, my lack of imagination in the poetic real sense of the world has attentuated to a blurry concept that even I could not distinguish. Meaning can be deceptive and mystique or it can be just a waste of breath either way just leave it the way it is and you will feel better the next day.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe, really, that you do want to find me.

But perhaps I'll wait here anyway.