Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Water Is On Fire















I'm not scared of never meeting you. I'm scared of having met you, and let you go.

52 comments:

Whatever said...

And yet sometimes it's better to have loved and lost, than to stay in the bath till the fires gone out and the waters ice cold.

Fiqua said...

U know..what a coincidence, today, 03-11-11,in japan. The water is REALLY on fire. Hope evrything, everyone is alright.

Anonymous said...

Oh, we've "met" before. And neither one of us has has let go since. That means the world to me. You have no idea. I'd love to tell you in person someday. Life seems painfully short sometimes. XO <3

Anonymous said...

A profoundly chilling post. I pray that you and your friends are safe...

Kohi said...

"I'm not scared of never meeting you. I'm scared of having met you, and let you go."

I could only sigh.. :((

Anonymous said...

You never let me go.

Anonymous said...

Fire.

Anonymous said...

I really hope your friend Jon is allright.

rivercat said...

I'm scared of being killed again, the first time I almost didn't die.
<3

Big Mark 243 said...

I can't recall your collaborator's name... but I hope that not only he is fine but those who he loves in his immediate vicinity...

I would like to share this on my Facebook page, because of its significance to me and to the world at this time...

cartographerofyourhair said...

i know, i know... you're right. the problem is i've already met you. i'm just so scared to grab hold of something new that i can barely speak to you without stuttering..

Anonymous said...

Rancid.

Anonymous said...

I pray that Jon is okay over in Japan...

Aparna said...

Exactly.

Monna said...

You put words to feelings not understood.

Anonymous said...

You're on fire and don't even realize it.

Anonymous said...

Yes, we've met and My heart has been smiling ever since even at times I was pissed off. Love, Me

Yue Huan said...

This is exactly what I'm facing.

Cat said...

You let me go.

zonedin said...

No matter how far you push away, I will be here ready to hold you.

Jenzie said...

EVERYTHING you write is BEAUTIFUL.
Somehow, I can relate.
To WHATEVER vague BS you write haha :)
its very very great. i read your blog almost every day.

Anonymous said...

You are waiting in vain... One thing that can't be taken back is lost opportunities. It didnt work your way. I guess there isn't anything you can do about it. I am being pushed to the edge and I have to move on now...

One thing I want you to know whether you understand it or not is that fear isn't cheating. I was hoping that you could help me with that but you wouldn't :(

Maybe someday you and I meet unexpected. I look forward to that with hope that you won't act as if I was your enemy again. You really overreacted with your defense strategy.

Keep in touch,

Love, Me

Anonymous said...

The link to the post from earlier brightened my morning. Until I was somewhat saddened to see that it was written prior to your awareness of my existence. Now, having read and re-read that comment I feel completely crushed. I'm attempting to make sense of it; to no rational avail. How can a person with such confidence feel fearful about a relationship that is comprised entirely upon love? I haven't the foggiest idea and so I'm confused. Again.
It's so simple, really. It could be so simple. I get defensive because I feel defenseless, at times. I've tried to rise above petty human emotions but that doesn't always work out quite so seamlessly. Because I care deeply. I have never considered you an "enemy." And I know for certain that I never will. Help me to figure out how to help you out with the issue of fear. Sometimes you just have to jump… even if it's scary. But if you won't, or can't - I will always love you regardless. I am always just a phone call away. And I miss you. <3

Anonymous said...

I WILL meet you.
And I WON'T let you go.

Anonymous said...

I was so used to my life that's devoid of intimacy. I have enjoyed my life since the day I sensed your existence and I know there's an exciting new territory for me to explore. But it's complicated.

Of course it's hard for you to understand my fear, I can't even describe it clearly myself. But I know Part of me is afraid of losing myself. I am struggling not to lose myself but at the same time I long to lose myself in your love.

Somehow I have this perception that you are too good to be true and I have been trying to make you do what you
don't want to do, in fact that you will never do, to convince
myself that you are real. I love the idea that I am in a relationship with you and very happy that I am that lucky one. But it's very unusual and I question that myself all the time.

You have that magic power over me. I hope I could behave normally when we meet again unexpected. It's hard to tell cause we are still being chased by the Murphys.

I miss you too <3

Btw, although I am scared of hearing your voice, I love it and it's magnetic.

Anonymous said...

When WILL we meet? I wish I knew what's on your mind.
Love, Me.

Anonymous said...

What you have taken the time to write both fascinates and delights me. I'm awestruck by your honesty and sweetness. I can tell that those words come straight from the heart. Thank you for that. And I love you. In thinking it over, I can understand the fear in theory. The only part that puzzles me is my failure to see how someone with such a dynamic personality could be concerned about getting lost in anything or any person. The Murphy's? Do you mean Murphy's law? And then there is the prior suggestion that of the non-secret, which confuses me too. I'll state it clearly - I'm complicit in our story too. And I don't feel any of the shame that perhaps I ought to.

I hope we do meet "unexpected" and the sooner the better, IMO. I know you well enough… I would calculate your body language and attempt to act accordingly, trying all the while to mask the raw love from my eyes. I don't want to steal away any of the you-ness from you. That would be tragically selfish. I continue to wait and dream and hope. Also, I love your voice even more. :-) <3

emxo said...

that's if i ever get the chance to meet you,

Anonymous said...

I am a people pleaser but there's part of me that belongs to me only. I am afraid that I would lose that last bit of me to you. It's a great way to communicate with you through typing, I don't have any concerns fully expressing myself. As a matter of fact, I overdid it and sometimes it causes great concerns for you, sorry :( it's not my intention.

You have that magic power that makes everything else disappear and all I could see is you. That happened everytime you were near me. How I behaved is naturally me, and it took me a while to get that you got that message I was trying to send you from that look. Sometimes I still have the hard times to believe that and I will alway have the doubt until we meet again.

It's sweet to think that we are partners in crime. I can't help but smiling whenever the thought comes to my mind. It's the most intimate relationship I have ever had. Thank you and I love you.

I am a Gemini and I could go to extreme to opposite directions. Yes, I have a very dynamic personality but I could be very stiff too, like how I am to you. We could meet "unexpected" in public or in private. I'd prefer in private if I didn't have this fear cause it would be more fun to us, in another word, more direct, focused and natural :) I wish I didn't have this fear. 

Love <3

Anonymous said...

I'll always mournfully wonder what might have been.
I'll always remember the thrill of our journey together
so far.
But it's more fun these days to wonder what could be.
What could we be? What are you keeping secret
from your loving partner in crime?
You sneaky sneaky sneak. <3
I love it. I love you. XO

P.S. G? Humph. No need for fear.
:-)

Anonymous said...

I was sneaky because of your status. But I was not even close as sneaky as you were.  I still am sneaky because you insist that I am being this way. It's unfair to for me to say this cause I only see things my way. You should know me better that I am very understanding to my own feelings other than yours :(

Yes, I agree that it's more fun to wonder what we could be instead of what we might have been. "might have been" causes me painful heartaches. I love you. I hurt you very much but I never really intended to hurt you like this. I can never forgive myself and I seek some kind of comfort by swearing to myself that I will do anything to make it up with you when someday we can go out hand in hand in public.

It's the differences in perception that cause us this much trouble. I try to think in your shoes. It's apparently natural for you to reject me because of your status. It's also obviously natural for you to accept me because of all the evidence you collected. For me, all I need and all I have been trying to get is a validated yes from you, but I failed over and over again and I realized that you will never give me a validated yes. 

You are much more sneaky than i am and I love it :). We should run away together as a couple instead of competing each other as rivals. We are even in both ways. Sometimes I think maybe I should just give in, after all I am a male and predetermined that I cant do all the things that a female can do.

I wish I wouldnt act like we meet in private when someday we meet in public. I'll look to you and try to behave. XOXO

Love, <3

Anonymous said...

I'll try to be as gentle as I can... It's fun to imagine how helpless you would be when I hold you in my hand :) kisses

Anonymous said...

Wow, Sugar. I was on a different vein from the moment I awoke today... attempting to make my case that I understand your need for freedom of self and why I would never be clingy. You have an established and accomplished life. I would never want to be your space invader. Har. Such nerds, we. ;-)

I wrote on paper, prior to opening the laptop -
"I understand now that the way in which we reacted towards one another is simply that... the way in which we both reacted towards this love that was unexpected for both of us. And it's beautiful. I understand your hesitancy."

Plus a few other lines about how you teach people how you allow yourself to be treated and such. How you would prefer to be treated.

My overall point was that I don't want you to be concerned that I would cling to you; or overwhelm you. You have taught me so well. I respect your desire for freedom of personal space and discretion.

When your presence "appears" in my world I regard it almost as a gemstone in my cereal, so to speak. I don't eat breakfast, let alone cereal, but my bad metaphor just means that I cherish sighting those gemstones. So unique, special, hidden and personal. That is our relationship to me. It fuels me to propel onward.

You are always on my mind. And I love you so.
Love,
Me

Anonymous said...

No matter what happens, I always love you. You look nice with that smile. I miss that. Love <3

Freya said...

Now you asking me to let you go...

It hurts.

Anonymous said...

had to let you go.

Anonymous said...

I hate the fact that I am not good enough for you.  I judge, assume, expect, have little faith and narrow-minded... Have you ever wondered if I am even worth your effort and time? You can tell me anything and I won't get upset. I want to know all your thoughts related to me.

In my mind, you are arrogant, possessive, unpredictable, manipulative, maybe you have all the good reasons. Maybe all you wanted to do is to discipline and try to be a good mother. But in my heart, you are everything to me and I love you adore you dearly. You are too good to be true. I miss your voice and I miss you. I tell you everything  and thats probably too much for you to hear :( 

I don't know how I can overcome this fear other than to wait for a better circumstance where I can start our conversation from a different subject. I am such a hypocrite :(

Love, Me.

Anonymous said...

"Meet you half way" what does it mean to you? I have a foggy head, confused. Me.

Lex said...

This particular song has been on replay - and so is the face of a man I dearly like. Then I read these words and I felt so so so so sad and emotional. You move me.

Anonymous said...

I feel as though we've met, we've loved, and I have lost you...

Broken...

Guiding Spirit said...

You should not have allowed me to let go of you that easily ...

Anonymous said...

You were to busy holding her, you couldn't hold both of us...

Broken

Anonymous said...

When referring to reading one of her favorite words is red.

Anonymous said...

You read the same words as I. Me.

a rose by any other name said...

I read so much that I learned not to believe anything I have read.
My eyes are red, my heart is blue. I found you in dreams and now they're through.

Anonymous said...

Your still coming back,because real love never leaves.So i sit here and wait...

Anonymous said...

You're so right. Real love never ever leaves. No matter how much time has passed. Have to see you soon.

Anonymous said...

that's so me.

Anonymous said...

Maybe this is a test. God knew all along that we'd meet. He knew what you would say. He knew how persistent you'd be. And He made us happen, despite my distant protests, and I wouldn't trade a minute... No, a second of our time together for the world. A million years before I was born, He knew I would fall in love with you. And although you're leaving soon, I know you'll return, because I have faith in us.

P.S. I love you. xx

Anonymous said...

i wish i hadn't let you go.
i wish i could have seen past all your flaws.
i wish i could have believed that you really did love me before.
i wish you had fought to keep us together.
i wish you hadn't move on so quickly.
i wish you loved me enough to choose me instead; choose to come back.
i wish you could know what it feels like for me.
i wish we could go back and be even better than we were before.

i wish you every happiness.

to SK,
KW

Scar*let said...

so this is what it feels like to burn...

Anonymous said...

I've let go of someone cause life never wanted us together.. rayt nao im looking at him feeling that I can never be with him hurts me alot.. I always pray thay we cud be born again but in a time were me and him together. May god fill my love heart with happiness.