And now you're with someone else and I must go home, alone, to think about how long it takes to heal an alien heart.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for. You were meant to read these words.
I am alone, standing alone, living my life alone, loving someone that has a crazy and stubborn fixed idea that I have another one! I love him with all my life, and I gave myself to him at the moment he ask me to be with him... But he doesn't want me...
Be mine! Be Mine as I am yours!
As long as it takes for me to find you.
Stop hiding - don't make it harder for either of us.
this is currently my reality. 6 months towards healing, and counting.
Ian, you are an inspiration to novice bloggers like myself.
Thank-you for sharing your gift of writing with me.
I am going to link you on my simple blog :)
What a beautiful sentiment ♥
But I fear nothing in this universe can heal my alien heart
I don't want that day to come. It will, of course it will. If I had one wish, though, universe: please don't let it come so soon.
And I never managed to ask you the one question that was burning in my mind -
If my heart was so alien, why did yours seem like home? Weren't you also from my world?
I am yours...always...stop making me nervous..love, <3
Earth is a cold and lonely place without you. Funny how your silence makes this place seem depopulated.
"The majority of our suffering comes from our reaction to events, and not the events themselves."
I'm surprised you have any patience left. I'm surprised that you'd even want to be with me. No, I'm not as sad as you may think. Just in transition. I'm better off now then when you first met me and I get better everyday. It's all in the head.
I've been rude, immature, selfish, and inappropriate. Why should you give me another chance? Why would you even give me a chance in the first place?
Nothing has ever struck me as this love has. I can't ask you anymore for the answers you've already given me. You'll forever remain a constant in my heart.
I think I love you. Or is it just misplaced emotions? You're all I think of most the time. If you'd be happier with someone else, be it somewhere else. Then go, find your happiness that you deserve. I won't ever tie you down.
Friendship and companionship. Smiles and her laughter, it's the only thing I've been waiting for.
You are and were always the most important in this mad game.
I don't deserve you.
Story of my life..
And I don't think I'll ever find someone quite like you.
Sorry to slam the door shut, you've made the right choices.
prehistoric patience...i can imagine it!
Since you were the one who wanted to heal it in the first place.
And maybe all you needed was my silent consent. I spilled the beans all over the floor and made a mess.
A love so real that one has the inclination to run and smash it into a million pieces.
I'm no different from the rest. Take me how I am and don't change a thing about yourself.
My emotions ran thin and mute I became.
I'll pray each and everyday to see you again.
it takes time, days and months and sometimes, even years. some parts heal faster than others, and some parts, never heal at all. and eventually, you end up with a new heart, something evolved from the dead thing that came before.
and it takes love, with your new heart, to know that this heart is much better than the last one.
all you have to do is wait, and love.
The longer I stay away from you, the clearer I can think.
Or is it, the longer I stay away from you, the more distorted my thinking?
I guess it doesn't matter anyway. I feel like we're worlds apart, and you've probably forgotten me by now.
I'm on the verge of giving up, and I'm the only one trying, so.
Have a nice life, I guess.
How do you mend a broken heart?
And it would be so easy to love you. I don't think I'd even have to try.
Be with me forever?
I want you more than words can describe, so I won't.
This is the worst feeling, one of the worst ever.
Your use of language and the love I gave was returned with nothing but regret that I took the chance and disbelief that someone I assumed to be protective and helpful when needed most would be the complete opposite. Sick. Apathetic. Mean. Cruel. Twisted in every sense of the world. Have your shallow, meaningless, insulting world of beautiful words and ugly souls lying behind them, I rather escape with what I've lost and my Core intact then to ever trust my being in your hands, mind, and heart again.
From the beginning my assumption was that you wouldn't give more than a passing thought to having received a compliment from a fan. That must happen all the time, I thought. Confident leaders have ardent admirers. What TF happened? We've taken quite a tumble together since then, and still to this day - I am hopelessly in love.
My solution to our ecstatic quandary has been to correspond under the pretext of creative collaboration. Who knows? The result may well be, um… a creative collaboration. I wish my patience were as endless as my love for you. I'm doing my best with the waiting. But I've made room for you - it's of utmost importance to me to do so. And I hope I don't have to remain a secret forever. I couldn't keep it inside any longer. I've gone and met the one I love more than any other that came before. It would all be different if we had met in say… oh, I don't know. 1999?
We are standing together. I am yours, my heart is. I am not hiding, You are.
Maybe we are both aliens and we feel home to each other.My patience is running out but excuses are still plenty.
No doubt we love each other. There are friendship and companionship. Things disturb me sometimes but I always come back here with you at the keyboard. Please stop stressing out when I am off 4 duties.
Didn't I take you as you are already? I did. I wont change a thing about you either.
I know your door is always open for me, I am not in a hurry :)
I think it is that the longer you stay away from me, the clearer you can think.
I will be with you forever, and the day we are apart will never come. Love <3.
You don't realize what you have till it's gone...
Wish I knew what I really want. Wish I knew what you really want.
"Wish I was an alien at home behind the sun."
what a curious inspection
of my every fiber
I can take care of you. The real world outside of us is covered.
Well be fine even if one of us gets sick. That part is not a problem.
I wont get sick of you either.
I know it sounds stupid but id like
to create an environment where you can do your thing..what you love to do without worrying at all about survival or material things.
The problem is I keep hearing that its not always the best thing to do.
Maybe by providing you with luxury I would spoil your destiny. So I hold back and hope the power of love can decide this somehow...you are my true love but my giving you security might destroy you ...that is my fear and id rather be somewhat sad but know your talent is flying high than think im the one who clipped your creativity early by spoiling you.
How do you explain to your grandmother? Would she think this had got to be this way? Love.
It's like your the only one that's stuck. Like your heart stopped, while his continues to beat. Like your lost, but no one notices, or no one can find you anyway.
It's like he's stolen your heart away,
took it, tore it, tossed it.
Where do you begin when you no longer know who you are anymore? When all hope has walked out..
You've no idea how long I've been following your blog, perhaps since the beginning and I haven't ever left one comment. I love all of your work, it's truly amazing and beautiful.
This post couldn't have come at a better time.
Please never stop this, but if you must, at least publish this into a book so I can keep all this forever? <3
the alien heart still beats betraying the human body. It shouldn't've, it does, I so don't want it to...
:) commonly happened. lovely
@ Stella- yes. me. said -> stay strong. everything will be okay one day (:
I sort of miss you. But not to the point that I can come back. See, I have this life now, and not that she doesn't make me happy, in fact she makes me really happy and every thing is starting to become so familiar: like a new home. And you are like walking on the sidewalk of the old neighbourhood where every thing was once discovered, and feels so much like home, but really not. It's just a "used to be" and "can not be anymore" now. And yet sometimes I miss that old neighbourhood… I won't lie this time. I might be missing you.
The envious ones are my favourite ones now, come one! lets make something together, you and me, what about that? let me show you something, come come come .. I have something here for you
you scared? ooohhhh won't hurt too much
Start to think about it
Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!!!! :O
I'm so important I want to cry
:'( snif snif
Oh, dear sweet jeebus. That comment about the old neighborhood made me wanna cry.
I wish I was his new life. I wish we had really discovered everything there was to know. That's what I ever really wanted, in the first place. To know him, to feel like we were home together.
Crazy, I know none of this is for me but so much of it gets me *right there*.
I've been spoiled for years… ever since the day I first realized you were talking to me. Now? I can't get enough. I'm addicted to you Honey. I'm thoroughly hooked on the notion of us. I'll wait for as long as it takes. That's for you to decide, I'm told. XO <3
I am so used to worrying about the survival, been like this since I left my parents. I'd love the idea of living under your wings, thank you, sweet heart for thinking of that for me. Somehow you know me and recognize my emotional needs although we havent really met each other yet...But it feels like you know me before I was even born. You are magic.
You had really made me worried about you, you know that? I really thought you might be hooked on IV, and I was stoned by everybody. I fell in your trap again, didnt I?
Have you heard any music by a group called Porcupine tree? Something about your blog tells me that you might enjoy their music. Maybe you could get hold of an album called Fear of a blank planet.
And thank you for this blog. You have inspired me countless times.
my love, maybe i overthink things. To me its only been months and those months ive grown so much i feel like a different, improved model of myself. Yes it was my reaction to you but our brief and mysterious interactions pushed me to my limits...so yes, its because of you, not my worship of you.
I read many great philosophers chiming in on creativity and how the things created near a precipice are not going to equal that made when you jump off. I know your potential you are a genious imo and I measured that as objectively as possible. Personally i completely agree that great art has to be created under stress... that's why I struggle each moment with whether or not to move forward.
I love you like ive never loved before... and thats why this is so hard for me.
You mean everything to me… and even more so with each passing day as I learn more and more about the real you. I trust your judgement completely, as i continue to love you, completely. There a concept of good stress and our journey truly exhilarates me. I'm sorry if I've exposed some of the things that cause me the bad type of stress. I don't mean to cause you pain or worry. You are so sweet to me. I will always do my best to return the kindness. I think you have the most brilliant mind of anyone I've ever met. Pure genius. The leader, the Love I follow. I'll be your little owl, on the lookout for clues regarding our readiness to move forward. :-) <3 Meanwhile, XO from afar.
Your heart will always be alien to me. In fact I dont know it at all. It never belonged to me exclusively.
On the contrary, my heart belongs to you before I know you exist. Its too simple for you to understand...love <3
We are made for each other and meant to be together...love <3
With every song you share the world, I hope it's for me.
And maybe someday I will tell you how I feel,and you will respond me the same.
Post a Comment