Friday, December 17, 2010

The Covering Of The Ground

The biggest scars are unseen and unremembered, always from a smile you forgot long ago. We would never get anything done otherwise.


She said...

the scars that take the longest to heal
the scars that heal and leave a shriveled up void in their place, unfeeling, numb
the scars that bleed till there was no more blood
the scars that feel like yesterday even now
the scars that have the power to make me get through the roughest of time, your smile shininh through
the scars that have the power to make the the perfect the imperfect, because you arent here
the scars you gave me when you walked away and never looked back

i'm right where you left me, with these scars for company,
please come back my love.

Karyn RR West 1 said...

Yes, EXACTLY. Whatever you do, whomever you are, don't people up for pitfalls. Especially for no good reason. Especially if they are clearly weaker, more vulnerable, compromised, wounded blah, blah, blah that you as a being. When you care about much less love someone as a Being or friend you PROTECT THEM, not get close enough to try and screw them and use that to destroy their good-faith well-being they trusted in you. It's bullsh7t like I've seen as handful of bad souls cause than has terrified me of so many, torn between not wanting to hurt or break hearts, and afraid any seemingly friendly face could just be another fraud where a soul was supposed to be reflected. Oh well. That's what we get for living in a world so rife with whatever. Meh.

Sh@s said...

That covering is also the mask that we wear for various reasons.

Whatever said...

And yet if you forget the ground you stand on, all our castles are only built of air. Maybe it's okay to remember than smile, maybe it's just what you need to learn to wear it on your own face. xxxo

Big Mark 243 said...

I really admire your ability to say so much with so few words. Growing up, I 'liked' words and found their history intriquing. But I did not follow up on my interests beyond my abusing the English language.

You have such a mastery with words as you are able to say with a handful of perfectly placed and spaced letters, feelings that many can identify with and are inspired by. I am glad that whatever brought me here, did so.


Jade said...

I will always remember your smile, the sound of your laughter...that hurts more than remembering the day you are at peace but we will never be US again.

I love you and miss you...I won't forget, the scars are healed, the sounds of your voice echo in my brain after all these years.

Merry Christmas in Heaven to my Mom, my Brother, and my First Love.

Anonymous said...

had i not buried you somewhere in the back of my mind, i'd still be lying on the floor of that old house where you left me. the worst part is that we're still so close... and when we catch each other's eyes, you can still see the pools of sadness. neither of us will ever admit we were once so in love to anyone though. even ourselves.

another time, another place, perhaps without that other girl.

Anonymous said...

I didn't/don't intend to make it harder. You are just too good to be true for me and I can't convince myself that you are real with your loving me in the shadows. My feelings for you are real and my love for you is real. I can feel you so close to me.
I announced my love for you to the world, however, you told the world that you want nothing to do with me. how can I convince myself that I am not dreaming? Right this moment I think it's all my fixed delusional thoughts. You make the whole world to convince me of this. Remember The shot I had in the hospital and those pills they made me take? They were working and I did feel less stressful with my obssessive thought about you. I stopped the pills cause I'd rather be able to dream of you and get stressed than not dream of you and be normal.
Please don't ever doubt my love for you. I went to you with all my heart with the only hesitation that you may really want nothing to do me. Please don't blame me for not reaching our goals cause once I believed that I was going to jail for what I did.
If you think I am not good enough for you, leave please. Don't make it harder for me, and thereof make it harder for you too.

Alyaa said...

I'm trying my best to hide them now.

Anonymous said...

You can try to cover up even the deepest scars left from a smile you forgot long ago, but there's something undeniable about the eyes which leaves the biggest impression for which you cannot forget nor deny. The eyes in the night from years past of whom will never hurt me because it's those eyes I trust. It's those eyes I have always loved. Love Me.

Anonymous said...

journeys through voyeurism
my words convey the truth
of the stand I have taken
on this matter, I
evolved into a willing co-conspirator

armed with the knowledge that
you came closer because
something about me
drew you in so I found
myself only wanting to
pull you closer
in to me

Through the confusion
I'm certain is deliberate
I want to shout out
let's tell our story together!
it's an exceptional one
A rare original
a sign of our time
with brilliance ahead
of the guidelines that
humanity has established
thus far

I cannot help but
reiterate the sentiment
in my heart which is to say
if you love me as
I can only love you
let the world in on our
secret story

it begs to be told
let me enter the sunshine
the shadow is just...
too unbearably cold

you and you alone
have the power to
decide… hurt me
or love me
into our eternity
and that Sir,
is not a lie

And neither is this…
I love you with
all of my heart.

Anonymous said...

The worst scars are the ones unseen.


Anonymous said...

There was always a Smile .
If you never saw it there ,Felt it was Lost .
Then At Times I always Felt ,You never saw me ,was only Looking Through Me

Anonymous said...

Maybe it made me Sound Like
I lived in such a Fantasy World
Never Facing Reality
That was Never so Far

From the Truth
As Reality ,Was There I knew it
Felt it

Suffered by it's own Hands
Tasted The Blood

Crawled to a corner ,to escape

Scars always seem like the Glue that holds a body together .

Anonymous said...

Please Tell Me
Please Tell Me

Why? Did You always think I needed Fixing

To you see that I was Broken inside

Was you So deeply shame of Me
That it became a Strong Need inside You

To fix me

To fix me ,was To Change Me
To How You ,thought I should be acting Like

Why was I not Allow To have Time and Allow Love

To allow Time To Heal Me
To Feel Your Love

A Love I never Felt Before
Why ,Did You Need To Fix Me

Why ,Did Fixing Me ,meant Changing the Way I was

That would of been Changing that same Woman

You Spoke
Was I never Good Enough
Did you Feel as I felt

Inside When You Looked At Me
Is that Why by your Hands

I felt Rejection

Was You so shame of me

From The Hands of Others of My Past

Anonymous said...

When You Looked At Me

Was I so Dirty

That is Why

The Rejection was Felt

Please Tell Me
Please Tell Me

Hate and Love Relationship

Words you Proudly Spoken To me and all else

That Is Type Of Love
I Knew From Birth

Hate and Love

Anonymous said...

Something Happened
Your Love That was a Love I never Known Before
Became What I always Knew

Love and Hate Relationship

Then The Deepest Blaming Started Coming Towards Me
You told Me as a Child I had

Choices to Speak Up
To Stop The Suffering
Didn't you understand

I never knew Better
I thought that was What Love was Suppose To be Like

Anonymous said...

For all the Suffering ,Felt by the Hands I Trusted

Although You Made Me Feel
As Everything ever Happened in My Life

Some How I created something
Some way

For those Hands I trusted To Hate and Love Me as They did

Anonymous said...

What Did I create or Do
To Give anyone Permission
Lay Down to Suffer so much as a Child

What did I do

To tell anyone it was Okay

To Hurt me and Leave Me Crying on the Floor

Like One of My Broken Dolls

Please Tell Me
Please Tell Me

I want to Understand

Anonymous said...

The Secret Was
Through Everything that Happened
I couldn't Find it in Me To Hate Them
Oh I really Tried So Hard
To Hate Them
Truth Was

Although You See ,You Must of Missed Out on Understanding Something About Me

I could never Hate Those That Hurt Me

Some How it was only thing I ever Felt close to Love

Anonymous said...

It was My Self
That I punished

Filled with Shame

There Had To Been Something Dearly Wrong With Me

I must of Been Born
That in this World Others could See

That was Invisible to me
I withdrawn
Punished My self

As a Failure Long Time Ago

Anonymous said...

Scars seals all those broken pieces together

I must of Been Placed on this Earth By Hands of This God
To Suffer By the Hands of those I trusted

To not be able to Hate
Only See Good

So you have To Believe
That something was Plain Ugly about Who I am

For Now The Truest Love in My Soul
A Man That I trusted
Spoke Words

Love and Hate Relationship
You felt for Me

My Heart Rather ,Live Alone than Hurt Anyone .

There must be something Wrong ,That You Fell in Love With Me

But never Accepted Me ,as you always Kept Wanting to Fix me

To be Fixed ,how you thought I should be and act .

Anonymous said...

You was filled With Disgust Knowing all Those Dirty Ugly

Secrets About Me
That is Why
You tried so HARD

To Fix Me

Fixing Me ,was Changing the Woman I was at the Time

You was Not Proud of Me
Rejection Played a Part In this Relationship

As I was Disgusting
That a Woman After Finding out the Truth

All those Dirty Hidden Secrets
That some Where Hidden inside You
Was Filled With Rejection Towards Me

As a Woman

What I saw in your Eyes and actions ,That didn't leave Scars ,only Killed me .

Anonymous said...

As my Spirit Filled

Each Night
Each Year

With a Strong Shame For My Own Self

As the one Person that one Time
Showed me What Love was really suppose to feel Like

Now has Rejected Me
When I told Truth

Upon all Those Hidden Secrets I was Hiding Behind All those Walls

That Fixing me ,seemed Break Down .
Even then Life held no choices

Love ,You never allowed yourself to ever Believe the Good in me .

That Truly
I Love You

Anonymous said...

To see it in Your Eyes
Shattered Every thing Inside Me

Wanted you Stop Loving Me
Only HATE me

I held enough Trust in Knowing Who You Was

That you could be the Type
To Be Hurt

Push Me Completely out Your Life

Create something NEW for YOU
I believed That Knowing YOU
Would Close the Door .

So Those Words That was Told to me as a Child
That No one Will Love Me

I believe that might be True
As now those same exact Words I saved on my Cell Voice Mail

Was Spoken out your mouth to me

I rather Live Rest Of My Life Alone

Than Ever Feel Shame
To be Rejected

To see in Your Eyes This
Love and Hate Relationship

To Feel The Hands of Being Blame For My Mistakes


Those Mistakes of Others Do

Anonymous said...

Did You Really Know Me As Spoke
Was Fixing Me ,So IMPORTANT to you
That Knowing WOULD change Me

Please Tell Me
Please Tell Me

Did You Not LOVE me
Just The Way I was
That I didn't need be FIXED

That you so much Tried always Get Me To See REALITY
What you never Understood
I Lived that Reality in a Beyond manner in This Life

I spoke The TRUTH
When I would tell You

Seemed Never Quiet was understood .
Was made to believe I only wanted Pity .

Or Selfishly Played The Victim .

Sometimes in me ,I pray that ,It was only that ,that happen .

Anonymous said...

I walked Away
I know and Trust the TRUTH in my Heart
It will NEVER
Be a Hate and Love
Not in This Heart
That is One Good Thing God created In ME


Anonymous said...

You have Plenty of Friends
To call
To Support
To be there
To offer Advice

You Don''t Need Me
That is clear Now

As Far as You Making Yourself believe the Worst About ME
In saying
Your Love was never Good Enough For Me

That was So Untrue
Your Love

Was The Only Real Love I ever Felt that made me Feel COMPLETE

You was always Perfect Just the way You was

I wouldn't ever Changed anything of YOU

Anonymous said...

Your Love flowed Through my entire Body

That made me feel so happy and Filled With Life I never Knew Existed

Till The Rejection came

Then I knew for a Long Time Ago

I was not accepted
Unless I can fix myself

You Would not be Complete
You would always in back Your Mind
Still be Searching

For maybe
Just Maybe

That Little Girl is Gone
Reality is all I now See

Maybe This is What You wanted to Fix me as
There will always be Something Missing in me

Silence is What You want
Please Don't Fear Me

There is No More Fight Left in Me

Anonymous said...

Asking Myself
Was it so Wrong to Want to Hear You say
Even though I already knew the Truth

Was it Wrong Just
Wanted To Feel Your Love
Not your Disappointments

Was it Wrong

To just want to feel as
I WAS the only one in your Life

Was it Wrong

To want the Man I Desired So Much
To actually WANT me with Desires

Anonymous said...

That Little Girl is Gone
Reality is all I now See

Maybe This is What You wanted to Fix me as
There will always be Something Missing in me

Silence is What You want
Please Don't Fear Me
There is No More Fight Left in Me

Anonymous said...

Then The Withdrawn
The Distance

The Silence

Became a Very Big Part of This
Hate and Love Relationship

We shared Together

Did you not care to actually See Me
Was it more Important to see through me

Could you not understand .

That Fixing Me was Changing me .
Telling me
The Woman ,you Said You Love .

Was not Good Enough
You Was Shame to know those Secrets

That now I needed fixing .

To how you saw me to be

Not how the Woman I was

So only ugliness was Shown with Lies .

Because That is all you saw in me to be True

Scars ,seal our puzzles together .

Anonymous said...

The eyes you trust... It makes me want to cry...

Anonymous said...

I can never deny's those eyes that let out my deepest secrets... I love you. I miss you constantly.

you said...

and sometimes, when they smile again, you remember.

zonedin said...

It's the scars that make you beautiful and you cover it with humor. If you had no scars would you laugh as much, smile as much? I don't think you would know how good things are when they are good.

So we wear the scars without talking about them, but instead allow them to shape our character. Some people call it a mask, I call it decorations of a true spirit.

Me said...

They are my prove, my souvenirs from the time we spent together.

Anonymous said...

But sometimes a smell or a sound brings it all back in biting waves of bitter wind. And then in that moment you remember, and cannot breathe.

Anonymous said...

to say it all in a poem ,a love once then to let go in a poem is very sad as that love was a nothing ,a nobody .Which doesn't really matter ,as in life some just deserve it that way .Nothing was different and That person was used to being treated that way .
When love loses the hope and belief ,you find it only a empty shell .As across the internet ,you find many knew more than you did .As that Love shared between two ,really was not that special .To end ,this would be What someone like me deserved .thank you from all beats of my heart .now even God ,can take me as there is nothing holding me here .
Goodbye ,last beat my heart was made a laugh ,dearly hope many enjoyed it .

Anonymous said...

The scars that will never heal...and those faked smiles I hate the most...I can only pretend not seeing them.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes you make me laugh that you even have scars...

Anonymous said...

Now im smiling, but down there i forgot how the smile was. What joy was smile could bring.
And I couldnt feel it, since i have the unseen scar.

Anonymous said...

I didnt try to fix you, its you who try to fix me cruelly...what belief should I have for us? tell me...

Anonymous said...

A million words you uttered...not a single one I can hold on to...

Anonymous said...

At least I was brave enough to tell you my feelings, I wrote, I called, I left you messages, I tried to speak to you...If you really mean what you uttered to me, then I am a better person than you are, unless you are just playing a game

Anonymous said...

Fare Well is a meaning of Truth that Scars always Fade towards Peace of Heaven .
Where all shall be Good

Anonymous said...

If love is true, and I know for a fact that it is… then why hide from it and why hide it from the world? The greatest joy of earthly wonder deserves to be celebrated wholeheartedly - embraced, welcomed and cherished. Cared for and tended to, just as if it were a home.

I try to arrive there constantly. But home eludes me, as if it were hidden from view by layers of fog. I'll just say what I feel. I know you will listen. I love you. More than anyone I have ever known. I just don't understand how to secure your ultimate trust. Think back to the past… I was all set and willing for a TJ with you. But, also I'm aware that trespassing is unlawful. At this fork in the journey, which path would you most like for me to choose? Choose none? I can't do that. I feel certain that together we can find a balance, a remedy. I wish you felt comfortable talking to me openly. I never imagined that my true love in this lifetime wouldn't call me on the phone. Don't get mad, I'm smiling at the silliness of our situation.

You most likely won't post this and that's fine. Just know that I love you and that I wish you could understand that I only want you to be happy. You make me happy, even when you don't.

Anonymous said...

If I said goodbye first, would it release you from your misery? Tell me, or I will never know.

Anonymous said...

If you can't enjoy loving me from the shadows, then what keep you there waiting for me? You are very different... I love you with all my heart and I think about you constantly. When will this waiting be over? When can I wrap my arms around you? I can't wait and I search everything thar I can do that I think makes me related to you... I want to be your<3

Anonymous said...

It's a turn on,
to be sure

Stockholme's syndrome?
I feel like a princess
for the first time

Donkey Kong and
a metal bikini

I feel your nerdy love, and I
bask in it, greedily...

I love you back.
you know this
we are so strong together

you hold me captive
I dislike winter
even on such occasion
as the solstice

what plans have you...
my captor?
I would like to travel south
but I'd like for you to weigh in
on such a matter

my confidante
my love
my everything, always.

Anonymous said...

They wont fade away and I wont let them

Anonymous said...

Or I go back to my old job until we can meet each other again unexpected...which one do you prefer?

Anonymous said...

How can I convince myself that you are there waiting for me?

Anonymous said...

The first thing I will include in my future plan would be you if you could make me belive you sincerely want to on my plan list.

Anonymous said...

I would make you never let me leave if you could let me have you in the first place...I am trying very hard to forget about you, maybe that is the best thing to do for both of us even though I dont want to think this way. Helpless....I love you.

Anonymous said...

I dont have the courage to do it again and please ask me to stop what I am doing from the shadows and I will. Its a favor I need to ask you for me.

Anonymous said...

Even though you tried everything you could to help me, I did my best and that proves that I am not good enough for you. I admit it and you might as well admit it too. It will do good to both of us to be realistic. Dreaming is not for real. I want a REAL person that I can see, touch, feel and talk to.

Life is too short...

Pls I dont regret what I did. I tried my best. If I hadnt done it I would have never known what I know today. It just didnt work out for us...lets blame the weather man..

You are forever in my heart

Love me

zonedin said...

I didn't think you needed fixing. I only felt you needed holding. That is all I want to do.

Anonymous said...

blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,=3blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah o.O

Anu said...

I don't know how I missed this post.

It's... heartbreaking, really. I wear my deepest scars more obviously than others, and it really is a wonder sometimes I manage to get through the day.

But at least I try.

Anonymous said...

We are strong together. Being away from you makes me weak. I am trying in the way I can...Please be understanding... Love <3

Anonymous said...

I was wrong and I am willing to wait for an appropriate accasion for us to meet again. Until then, I will be hugging and kissing you everyday in our imaginary world. Love <3

Anonymous said...

your plan list ,you know I do although ,thinking you didn't place me on that list .
You know when there are changes ,the changes are sometimes towards the good .
Those changes should at least be a chance .

Anonymous said...

There should be a face to face before The end

Anonymous said...

What ever transpires for the future .
I will always Love you ,no matter where our Lives takes you and me .
You know I will too .
Just as I do you .

Anonymous said...

You will be in my thoughts each day for rest of my life .
There is no more Fixing .
My heart is yours .
Will always be .
Though Some how I fear ,you have Returned it .
Tell me this is Wrong for the way I am feeling .

Anonymous said...

I'll never leave you, please promise me you'll never do that to me either... Love<3

lauralongbottom said...

The smile you forgot to share has a bigger impact than you think. Maybe we should stop forgetting our smiles and get back to being happy.
That time you didn't smile for me? You left a scar.

Anonymous said...


I miss you