Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Silent Laughter






















When you're the last one to leave the party, and you feel a feeling that feels like you'll never forget, hold on.

When the world turns against you, and it's nothing but liars and thieves, hold on.

When the sky beats you down and there are no arms to lift you up, hold on.

When the phone doesn't ring and letters aren't written, hold on.

When you're alone in the crowd, hold on.

[Editor's note: Until next year. Thank you for reading.]

90 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for all your words that fill up my empty spaces.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this. You've made my year a little better by showing me I'm not alone.

You deserve 2011 to be a less broken year.

Have absolutely breathtaking holidays,

Sam

Anonymous said...

I needed this today. Thank you :)

rivercat said...

hold on to the only thing anyone can ever have.

- thank You for writing lain.
blessings be upon all.

bealei said...

No, thank you for writing =)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post.

Hold on.

I do have a question,
Don't you sometimes wonder that it is your mind and not your heart that loved that one person.

I wrote this for you.

In the end it doesn't even matter, if you wrote this for yourself or for her/him.

buffybabe said...

I am holding on. Wow. This..Thank you...

Anonymous said...

Thank you for giving us something to hold on to.

Thank you for holding on.

See you in the new year <3

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing.

Sooz said...

Thank you for writing this year.
Your writting saved me more times than I can count.
You helped me hold on.
I'll never be able to thank you enough.

E. said...

Thank you for writing.
I will hold on if you say so :)

Di said...

thank you for the year.

Jack said...

Discovering this blog helped me through the year. Thank you for your beautiful words.

Anonymous said...

i wanted to write a note of thanks that sounded just as beautiful as your writing, but that's nearly impossible. so, thank you. thank you very much.

Cass said...

Thank you. I read your blog everyday,

cynical bones said...

there is one simple moment
where you need to let go
or for a car to hit you
or something, anything.

catie. said...

"When the phone doesn't ring and letters aren't written...."
thank you. This was just what I needed.
happy new year! Best of luck. Thank you for your writing. It heals.

delayne said...

Heartfelt thankyous for all that you do; you and your writing mean so much to so many, and your posts are often the only lifelines that some of us are thrown....

I wish only the best for you in the New Year. Have the very blessed of holidays, my friend.

...delayne.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this and everything you've written.
Thank you for teaching me to hold on
and to appreciate everything in life.
You are wonderful.

SomewhereOnlyUsKnow said...

I can't believe I'm reading this at this very moment. I feel like it was meant for me. We had a huge fight last night and I made someone cry. I don't know what to do now. Things are between the lines. I want to leave and I don't want to leave. What to do there when all the feelings have gone? Not just the love, but even the hatred...

Anonymous said...

Your words are truly a sign for me today. After an unbearable night for me, I woke up today to read your words. These words.

And I am infinitely grateful.

With love,

A.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your words. It will get me through this time of the year.

Anonymous said...

Best wishes for a happy holiday! To you and your whole family.

Your friend from shadows
Love <3

Anonymous said...

Heart, mind and soul. Thank you for the beauty of your words.

Anonymous said...

Liars and thieves...yes, I'm aware of them. People have been beating me up for far too long. I'm holding on, I said I'd never let go. I may be misunderstood about more than a few things, but one thing I am certain of is I never make commitments I can't keep...especially to you. I don't feel alone because I know you are with me where ever I go. You always have been and you always will be so I am not worried about the phone not ringing or unwritten letters because the words are already written in stone. Isn't it a shame how people lie to you to change you for their own benefit. Just when you think you know someone you come to find out you never knew them at all. Love Me.

J said...

I'm holding on. I really am. I'm taking your word for it that this will all work out.

Love.

Lost said...

Dankie. Geseened Kersfees en n voorspoedige nuwe jaar. Finding you made my year. Wishing you the joy and release your writing gave me.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much, this is exactly what I needed to hear. The holidays aren't happy for everyone, sadly....

Anonymous said...

Thankyou so much.

Anonymous said...

thank you for writing.
thank you for helping us hold on.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful...simply beautiful!

Thank you!

Chameleon said...

hold on until when??? i'm tired, maybe

Hopeless Romantic said...

Thank you Iain. Truly.

Happy Holidays to you. <3

catie. said...

Thank you, for mending me.

Hayley said...

This is beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful holiday, you deserve it!

Anonymous said...

Thank you. Happy holidays and happy new year :)

Brittany said...

Thank you for reminding me for all the moments it feels so easy to just ..let go.

themalikster said...

thanks for this. it was used in this time of need.

Khairie Hisyam said...

Have a good Christmas and a Happy New Year, Iain!

Betcha said...

Holding onto something New in year 2011 .

you said...

yes, hold on... it's only the winter before the spring, the dark before the morning (great song by Josh Wilson btw).
Thank you for remembering those of us who need encouragement, even though you won't know who we are at any one time.
Happy New Year!

je said...

splendid!

Happy holidays! :)

Anu said...

I needed this, so, so much.

Thank you and Happy Holidays.

♥ Anu

Anonymous said...

thankyou.

cartographerofyourhair said...

Usually I would say a little something back, but this time I just feel like you found the thread that I used to sew my heart back up and cut it. So I'm sitting here with my heart torn open. I love you for this. You would think I would be angry that you've found me out, but I needed to remember to hold on. I needed to be reminded that I should keep trying because I don't know what the future will bring.

Thank you for everything. If you need me, I'll help you hold on too.

Anonymous said...

I tried my best yet ain't understood by anybody. Holiday is sometimes even more miserable to someone like me. Thank you for your words. They get me through everyday just fine. You are my butterfly. Love <3

Anonymous said...

You said I am your best friend, and suddenly you said you don't know me at all. I guess that makes you know me better then?
I say I love you and I hate you, I say I want to be with you and I try to forget about you, I say I tried my best and I will try again, I say this and that.... But no matter what my mind tell me and you, my heart whispers to us: let's stay together always and forever. I miss you. <3

Jennifer said...

On the day you wrote this:
someone I love withdrew from me,
locked himself and his feelings away, decided he didn't want to love me, because of his fear that love makes him vulnerable. He leads me to believe he will not return.

To him it seems safer to reject the love he feels and the love I offer, because it means never having to navigate love's imperfections, and never having to experience the pain and rejection of the person he loves walking away.

His actions are not fair to me or to himself, I know. Despite this he is as worthy of love as I, and needs it every bit as much.

I struggle now to hold fast to the good of what we have had, regardless of whether or not he returns this time. I have loved him including his flaws (and including mine) - now bathed in rejection I struggle to protect what we have had from curdling and turning sour in hindsight, for it was real, regardless of its ending. However long it lasted, while it lasted, it was beautiful.

I choose to try my best to hold on to the truth of that. He made me *happy* for a while, and I have not been happy for so long. It was a great gift.

Thank you.

amelia said...

thx you,

sometimes hold on is the only thing left to keep us survive..

Thx you for all you words. its mean world to me

Asma said...

very nice blog

rica jean said...

I needed this. Thank you.

"When the phone doesn't ring and letters aren't written," I will hold on.

Thank you for all your amazing posts. :)

Betcha said...

Whispers of Tears
That were forgotten
Birthday came and went
A Wish not Granted
Christmas came and Went
Not even the best Present

As those around offered many Presents with Happiness
Try as Try
To not show Tears
Happiness Laid far Away
That He just didn't care no more

Something must face
Truth that must face
He doesn't care no more

As I wipe my tears away as Writing this
Place my hand over my mouth
So no one can hear the Sobs that I swallow in my throat
How much it hurts
that truth
He doesn't care no more

So many times
Reached out
To be shut away
Pray that God ,help me find the way

He doesn't care no more
He Doesn't care no more

The New Year I must face that it is
nothing

neda said...

i have to hold on to continue reading your wonderful posts :)
i wish you the best in 2011.

Anonymous said...

how long do you hold on for?

Anonymous said...

forever

Anonymous said...

Holding on...is worth holding on. So many times I've suffered...my heart hurts as equally as my head. Some think it's OK for you to let me go because I've been hurt so many times so it doesn't make a difference...what both you and others don't realize is I'm in constant pain. They don't care or cry the amount of tears I have for you, over us. I've been pushed around and trampled on like a mat placed outside the front door waiting for you to come home. The one welcoming home a squalid industrial worker who can't wait to take the boots off after putting in 8 hours overtime. Happiness is worth holding on to, feeling like you belong is worth holding on for. I belong in your heart, your mind and arms...I'm holding on for you to let me in. You can take off your boots and relax, but please don't lock the door behind you. Me.

by Baizulikha said...

Thanks so much for posting this :)

Anonymous said...

I'll hold on until I can meet you again. love<3

Anonymous said...

You scared me and the action itself scares me...

Anonymous said...

I planned very well. I was thinking what if you rejected me?that's all I was/am concerned. Cheating is disgusting.

L. said...

Thank you. I will hold on. <3

Anonymous said...

I had a dream last night, it's about you but I could remember exactly what it was. I have been dreaming you a lot lately, maybe because I started talking to you less and you want to make up the time in my dream. I miss you. Helpless me.

catie. said...

Days seem emptier when you're on holiday. I miss reading your blog! Be safe and happy new year. I wish you the best.

MD said...

I just want to thank you for writing this. It convinced me to flush the pills down the toilet and just hang on for a little bit longer.

Hopefully 2011 will be a better if not great year for us.

Betcha said...

Happy New Year to All
I will be gone before the First but wanted ,Leave warm Wishes to All


http://soulwanderingsoul.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

He left me on Xmas Day. He broke my heart. I don't know if I can hold on anymore.

Anonymous said...

What's broken is broken, and whatever begins also ends.

http://nostalgicsoulfacesreality.blogspot.com/

Forever 11:11 said...

I hope you see this..
My arms are so weak from holding on anymore. I am but all exhausted... I am the last one at your party and it is a feeling I will never forget.. I'm still holding on... The world has not turned against me... You are my world, you are lying to your own heart and have stole mine.. I'm still holding on.. The sky has beat me down and you are the one and only one that can pick me back up..I'm still holding on.. My phone doesn't ring like it used to and short 3 word texts are slowly and eventually becoming not written... I'm still holding on.. I am once again alone in the crowd without you... Do you want me to let go and not hold on anymore? I can't... I will always still be..... holding on... I love you.

lunar said...

Thank you. x

Betcha said...

The New Year is to Really open your self up to the Beauty of Life .
Learn to Love Yourself
Take back Your Broken Heart
Experience this Life and all the Beauty .
In being You
That really is most Amazing Experience ,you could ever offer self in 2011 .

Betcha said...

No one can hurt You
Unless you allow

True Love is not simple Words ,like No one will ever love you like I did ,then they walk away ,towards another .

True Love is not Written in a Poem to be left unspoken ,never faced with Reality .

To what I've seen
Some Do not even know True Love
They will argue the point ,they do
No ,they are still searching within themselves .

Leaving My Heart with Words here today .
Now it shall forever be me speaking the Truth to ,your Soul .
You shall never be Loved ,Like I will always Trust and Believed .
I Loved You
Yes used word Loved .
As now I finial Know That I am Set Free of this Bind that connected each other together .

My Heart is Free and believe me ,This is so Refreshing to have this Experience ,it is like ,each Heart beat
Holds some amazing Sound as it beats within you ,that is really for first time .
Becomes "Alive"

Happy New Year
May the Life ,Open up something new ,that will bring much Beauty to your World .

Anonymous said...

I'm still holding on too, as you well know. I can hear the silent laughter. At times I even join in, chuckling softly to myself. I know from experience how guys tend to be… which is to say that they behave differently in groups than while alone with women that matter to them. I was for years that odd-ball girlfriend that was content to hang out with a bunch of mostly single guys. I suppose circumstances become more complicated at this later age, when nearly everyone has become paired off. I understand the complications involved, but I'm still in madly in love so this crazy-frenzied juggling and balancing act is more like an artful and exhilarating danger dance that I enjoy. Wholeheartedly, even through the selfish pain it involves.

The pain. The logical part of me understands why we have only spoken to one another within the confines of my shadow. But the self-conscious part of me questions the intent. This may sound hurtful so I apologize ahead of time but I have wondered in select moments of doubt to what extent am I but a pawn to leverage an oversized ego? I love you I love you I love you. I want to kiss you all over. Everywhere.

It's tough. At times I'm overly aware that the silent laughter doubles as collective groupspeak mockery and I"m embarrassed. But then I think about how much love and happiness you have provided to me and my heart becomes overwhelmed with affection. Your ego is just a part of you and I love every part of you. I love our musical relationship… it fills me to the brim with joy. Is it some semblance of Stockholme's? If so I don't even care. I gave the spare key to me to you long ago and I will always trust you to handle it with care. To keep it safe and protected. I've just typed out the truth of how I feel about us, other than to say I wish we could break out of the shadows soon. Together, hand in hand. I'm still holding on… waiting by my trusty phone. Miss you. Love you.
Love,
Me

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing this, and thank you to all the anonymous posters who feel the same as I do. I feel less alone.

twizzlesouthernstar said...

Thank you for all the many different ones I,eve seen and read. WOW ! I don't know really what to say that hasn't already been said but on day,s i need the most ill come here and read your new or your old & favorites of mine and WOW ! !
BRAVO ! ! Just wow i am really having a hard time with life I don't ether like who i am or i don't know me anymore and {i am not from here} i hate this world just want to go home "HEAVEN"

twizzlesouthernstar said...

Yeah its a "Feeling" alright you feel so deep in your soul That i remember of Home.. Where there's only love,joy,happiness and no PAIN..Word is the streets of Gold..Of story's my father told..&others told my vision fade as my heart & soul. Life after life,world, after, world i am losing that feeling or sight of Dear father please help me..please can i come on home yet? This world is far too cold , and i far too old Please ,and thank you so much for them words of "Hold On" I Am but please I want to hurry home i am all alone... Crazy & alone..

vonyd said...

It's all I ever do, is "hold on." I'd be dead a long time ago if I didn't. Something keeps me here and it's probably my love for You.

Anonymous said...

Thank you. For everything. Your words give me such strength.

Anonymous said...

to?

Anonymous said...

I tried to lie to my own heart and pretend not to care any more. But I ended up hurting myself and my soul sister. It's a selfish and cowardice act. Everytime when I read your words, it brings back that familiar feelings and all the happiest and sweetest moments we shared together. Its no doubt that we belong to each other. Neither you nor I can deny that.

I enjoy our life that we created together within our shadows. Wondering how it would be if it was for real? I'd be the happiest guy on this planet, to have you by my side, I think :) I will never let you walk away from me, not now, never ever.

You should have told me about your plan of authentication, it's really unfair your not giving me any clue. You make me look like an idiot in front of the crowd and I hate that!

It's an awkward and dangerous situation we caused ourselves. I'll see if I can take care of it. I'll let you know... Cooperation from you is much appreciated! XXO...

Love <3
Me.

Laceface said...

I really needed to hear this.

Anonymous said...

I want to cry.

uma.a said...

Lovely words ...Nice

Anonymous said...

As always you have my full cooperation, attention, love and support. I would never deliberately do or say anything to make you feel otherwise. I look to you now for direction and communication. Instruction as to what might be next on our agenda together. I would never "walk away." Having you in my life only improves it. Immensely. I love you for that. But not as much as I love you for being you. The crowd? I don't know, exactly. I do know that we needed the time it has taken to get to know one another… to build a sturdy foundation of trust. And that is between US. I don't want you to worry so much. It's a brand new year for hope, renewal and positivity. And with luck (fingers crossed) further love and creativity and fun. XOX <3
Love,
Me

Anonymous said...

i think about everyone i love i think about their pain i think about all the hours everyone i love has spent crying alone i think about all the people i love who won't even face their pain anymore who just pretend it isn't there i think about everyone i love and how much they have hurt me how much i have hurt them i think about all the people i love

Anna said...

Thank you for writing

Anonymous said...

Thank you honey for what you wrote. As always I absorb every single word... wrapping my arms around your neck n peck a kiss on your lips... Love you always <3
The crowd is your friends, the group of people you are talking to. I pretend they don't exsit so I feel less embarassed... But you are the representative of them, whatever I do in front of you, I do in front of them. It's a secret everybody knows.
I wish it were a movie and I could read the script first. What and how do you want me to ask you? I don't want to look like an idiot again, not in front you, not in front of the crowd...
Wish I could be by your side ...miss you <3

comfortedbywords said...

This is the kind of website that makes me feel connected to everyone else here in this vast earth. I just want so badly to be a friend to every person who leaves a comment here.

Anonymous said...

The honest truth, everyone hurts you like the pain caused using the simplest words out of context breaks the heart. The reality, dreams are as real as poetry. Poetry is written from the heart, spoken from the soul, interpreted by the mind, at times opinion should be left unspoken.

What I see, love gets taken for granted. True Love is blind. I love you.

Anonymous said...

You saved me when I was feeling dark and alone.

You looked into my soul with those serene blue eyes and made me feel at ease.

You let me be me...and for that I truly love you...

So I will hold on as long as I can and enjoy the laughter now, but I know it won't be long until you go back to her. :{

Shara said...

This is a post that will always stay nestled in my heart. I will never be able to thank you for your honesty, your love. I hope one day I will be able to shake your hand. I love you.

Shara