I don't know how you get out. All I know is how I got out.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
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I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for. You were meant to read these words.
I always thought of you as the broken hearted one,
the one that didn't get out.
Maybe I was wrong..?
I would have to be Houdini to escape my utter mental confusion over the vagueness of the latest post.
Did you write this? -
"I would like to work through any problems if you are willing. Developing a bond of steel with someone is what I seek."
And did you write this? -
"I'd love to talk to you, but how do I know whether you will be my enemy or friend?"
So many 180º turns! I'm just trying to come to terms. I do not seek to wrestle away your freedom. If you don't trust me by now… Yes, I implore you to resort to trusting your imagination then. "There are no broken promises." I need someone to believe and that someone is you and you alone.
Why make everything so much more difficult than it ever needed to be from the beginning? I hope the phrase "got out" doesn't refer to US. Because I love US. But you knew that. I trust that deep down you know that without any doubt. The last thing I want to do is ever cause you pain. I feel so heavily, personally invested. I had a bizarre dream about you last night. You had distant, robotic eyes. There is no reason to worry. Many calendar pages have already peeled away so there is no need to hurry. I just want to work it out. The foundation already exists. Reassure me it is no mirage. I will always be your friend and number one fan.
I didn't even know there was an escape route. Somehow it all comes around full @@@@@@@@@spiral@@@@@@@@@
I need to set my self free.. Then at the end i will try to set you free..
it's hard to explain. i think it's a little like free-falling, only you never really hit the ground and splatter. it's like the wind takes you sailing instead and you don't quite feel like you've landed until you're already buried six feet into the ground.
my kinda posts...my typa person...as i see it
"have as always been...and...will always be...her's" :) thats me
was searching for pics...and unintentionally clicked on your blog's link...(i wonder if you took these pics)
well...i am not the only...in this world
ps: loved the way feelings are expressed (rather shared), messages conveyed...and responded (@ THE anonymous)
So I won't judge your way of trying, though it's different from mine. I hope your way works for you
this was perfect.
So are you? The broken hearted one I mean, the one who didn't get out.
Back where you belong.
I thought I got out. But it was just my body. I left my heart and soul inside. Now I'm struggling to get it back.
i'm free too :) i was trying to explain this to a friend the other day (and we got into an argument. i should have kept it simple like this ;)
Close your eyes and find me in the dark.
your posts are so depressing... but they are beautiful as well. :)
I <3 so many of these comments 2/25
I see your cryptic mysterious nature and I raise you: a tulip.
Henceforth a tulip sighting means I love you more than I think I can bear. So there.
Why can't they be the same thing?
found my way out ,long ago.now am set free of this unknown bond,that no longer pulls against all i have known.
no broken hearts or shatter spirit or lost soul ,just free to breath again ,without suffocating with you existence.
the person you have shown is all the darkest that many for years ,spoke a truth in what first impressions were to them.
i am relieved and happy,there now became a replacement and there leaves behind a freedom that feels so good .
there is nothing can be done to bring me down that ,you may think will be your strike to hurt me once more ,for all is expected of type person ,you become ,already .
now go,get out as i have and allow peace be known,as there only is left in shadows of disgust.
getting out was so easy.
as it was i that left you something ,that you shall give to another for all time be known .
a gift you do not believe exist although very well does .
a gift you will share in your ignorance .
it feels good to be free of you as i got out ,long ago.
sometimes in life ,things happen to prepare you to be that better person towards the one that comes into ,your life .
though realizing you will always hinder a darkness ready to explode ,one day upon ,even that person ,you shall dictate too.
i know that promise will come true .
it lives inside you ,hiding away through kindness
Once they know you are emotionally attached to them, they expect to be able to use you like an appliance and shove you around like a piece of furniture.
If you object, then they'll say that obviously you don't really love them or else you'd let them do whatever they want with you.
If you should be so uppity as to express a mind and heart of your own, then they will cut you of
In their world, love is a weakness and saying "I love you" is asking to be hurt, so be careful: they'll hurt you out of a sort of sacred duty.
refer to many areas ,shadows of black dog .
They can't or won't trust, so they will test your total devotion.
If you won't submit to their tyranny, then you will be discarded as "no good," "a waste of time," "you don't really love me or you'd do whatever I ask," "I give up on you."
then secretly trash you in creating a world ,for others to view you ,making you the better person .
i do feel sorry for the replacement and any children ,as they will one day feel the impact of their life for allowing freely to love one that can not love freely without a cost .
even though truth shines you time to become this amazing poet and live upon the lap top,living in a senior citizen apartment complex for the old and disabled ,standing in front of a judge to prove you mental unstable and not just a alcoholic.
to receive social security check monthly and your monthly food stamps ,that allows your time to be free up to create this better person on the internet .
reality is a known factor rather the delusions one likes to portray for others to believe upon another rather to see ,you
getting out is something you can not ,unless this replacement has the income and financial standards in her life ,to allow you to ride on coat tails of love .
till it gains you the ability to take control ,to be a life only you created for self .
this world only time shows the reality
getting out first before you feed off weakness
broken heart ,the one didn't get out ,you were wrong .
got out ,long time ago
as it was i that left you and went into hiding ,to stay clear of you .
growing up with family that mother is a closet drinker ,father works ,never home ,sister is drug addict
prostitution,failure as parent ,in jail more than count
money never becomes a issue to all these problems
though love has hard time to be known that love is free and money can not purchase it .
though love ,to you is controlled for own needs in long run .
when there is no more need all the time shared becomes a complete waste of your time and life .
your life feeds off ,other peoples lives and love for you .
not one time in your life ,you accomplished anything for self that some way someone did not finiacialy support you or you robbed emotionally from another .
learn to get out before its to late as it is to late for you .
there is no delusions.
all you took from my life
I've replaced and then some
you did not win as i took my life and escaped and got out ,long time ago.
though true to this day ,i have not stooped as low as you have proven in own life ,to accomplish all ,you have done .
with no success
on impact of my heart and life
i leave with a smile ,that now know all you shall never be in this one life time .
very wise educated person though really very insecure stupid inner self that will always depend on another to ,hold their hand ,through motivation of own journey .
that one never finds way out to be that better person .
unless it is only trying destroy another in long run .
You ran without looking back,
all memory has been erased now.
You're safe, you're gone.
You made it.
now you have a life as your friend does .
You pretty much walk on egg shells, deal with jekyl & hyde, flip of the switch temper, bragging, chip on shoulder 24/7, negativity and verbal abuse.
Anyone involved with such a person get out as quick as you can.
They never change or am open to therapy because they are always right and perfect, there is nothing wrong with acting the way they do.
Save your sanity, your heart and your family
he lives with black dog ,chasing him .
golden retriever is only a gift that see more than one knows .
there will be a truth that you shucked off as a lie
a treasure for rest of your life
all has gone as planned
life has this way ,that when you are faced with dying ,escape to get out .
you push and push ,till those you love find a new journey to be love and secure in .
life has it's own way ,to unfolding ,just the way ,you want it to go .
only time and another door opens up and leaving you with smiles .
then you know for a fact ,you can get out and go .
without looking back ever again
that is something that love always offers and no one can take it away .
the foundation was a creation of another door to be opened
How many times I tried to esacpe and pass through the exit door not looking back? I lost count, because everytime I do that, I end up coming back to you from the main door. I don't want to escape anymore, I want to reach my destination. Is this too much to ask?
i find so much meaning in everything you write. but nothing has felt like it was written so specifically for me. thank you, thank you, thank you.
wide application whichever you could think of.
Tell me whether you're the broken hearted one, please.
Maybe I misinterpretated this post.. I mean.. you got out is a positive thing, right?
I feel lost now that I know longer know whether our stories resemble, even in the tiniest way.
This is reallya strange way of us talking in the net, but it's fun. I am only talking to you, but looks like I am talking to everyone :) Love <3
honey I don't want to get out, just need to support myself. BTW, not qualified for the social security benefit, food stamp expired, can't last long like this :(
I did not write either of those things my love. Curious george... what are the odds? Wasn't me. Sorry you had a bad dream. This past integration stuff sucks. Current plan : burn brighter than 1000 suns. I came here to burn. Right? The past is real but only lessons only preparation no guilt no regret. Today is a new day! I wish I knew where you are and what you are doing and when... when baby when when when!? Not that I feel remotely ready... not that I ever will. I love you. How did you know baby? Thankyou.
Here's the thing. I can't believe how awful I have been. Here's the thing. I just have to fill up with love. Cause I don't want to hurt anymore. Here's the thing baby. I know I am wrong. Its all wrong. I don't know how to make it right. Other than to become the light. Please tell me you know who I am in here. Underneath all the shit. I can feel who I am. She is nothing like any of who I've been. Maybe its not as much about letting go as it is about acceptance. Integration. Here's the thing. I know who I am. I know where I have been. I know why I have been there. You weren't bad she said you just didn't know who you were yet. I promise baby. The sweetness is the only truth.
I thought I'd die without you.
Turns out I wanted you to leave.
I need you to be gone.
I can't keep you off my mind.
I'm ready to take the journey you asked to share with me. I want to make a heaven for us. Others seem to be making it hell.
I love you. No pain anymore.
You make me feel like heaven.
Lets run away together.
Eu estava agora, sentada na cama, a espera de algo que sei que nunca viria. Mas algo dentro de mim, dizia que ele chegaria. Já passava de meia-noite, e ouvi alguns sons vindo da rua, hesitei em olhar, talvez por medo, mas na esperança de ser ele, fui. Havia algo lá, que não consigo descrever. Talvez fosse um monstro, algum ser de outro mundo.
Canção pra te mostrar.
Seus lindos olhos azuis brilhavam sob a luz da lua, e sua voz doce me seduzia a cada nota. Não havia ninguém em casa, e eu pouco me lixava para os vizinhos, só queria saber de você. Quando concluiu a ultima nota
And this change of plans, words, actions and details move us to a paradox unilateral. The world is ours. Believing in the new. Decoding the reasons and defy all common standards. It is I lose myself when I'm inside.
A bird landing on the wire, without a shock and watched the butterfly garden flowers spoiled neighbor: that scene stuck in the corner of the soul. Longing for love again.
I almost fairy tale, my hidden corners. Resist, but do not lose sight. What I wanted was to sit me next to you, hide my hands in yours and unravel the threads
It's time to admit
Is useless to insist
Lives that do not match
We are no longer one flesh
We are a reflection of a disaster
you and me
are no longer
A heart that knows no love
It's an illusion that does not knock on the door
And so comes without warning
To hurt those who support
Time is a line that goes
Now you understand my cue
My poor choice made me fall
But it made me understand that without you
I can not continue
There is a ghost in our home. I will cleanse you as you cleanse me.
I am afraid of speaking to you. It's a strange type of phobia :( I am afraid that I'd say something really stupid even if I spoke good English. I can't think straight being around with you. I prefer a safe distance. Even that, I look stupid. That's all you did to me, making me feel like an idiot.
Such a multitude of contradictory little whispers. They comfort me because at least they convey that you are still here. That you haven't gone, as you claim. I swear I can feel you breathe, and so my lovelorn smile continues.
Sometimes I have the feeling that if I missed you out, I'd miss out life. It's very depressing but it's my true feeling for you. Love from shadows <3
What if there won't be a happy ending for US and we never get to see each other?
I started to stop believing anything I create in my psycho. It's false belief if I am the only one who think it is true, especially in relationship.
i see even those feelings don't matter here
time to get out
It's your voice I hear.
how did you get out?
Piece of trash.
Love is not a weakness. Hate is your weakness. Come here kitty kitty.
You have a lot of nerve to spread lies about me little girl.
I'm looking for true love. So glad I made the escape.
Last night I saw you.
I started praying again, mostly for you.
I wish you the best.
(Please stay. Sometimes, the world is beautiful.)
The world is always beautiful. Depends on your perception of what beauty consists of. I pray for you.
The narcissist will treat you just like a broken toy or tool or an unruly body part. Take him. I'm happy.
The only dog chasing after him is the one he sees in shadows.
In the shadows...born in the year of the dog.
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