Monday, July 4, 2011

The Sheer Lack Of Existence






















I'm made of dreams and memories.

I am made of misheard whispers in the dark.

I am made of glances across crowded rooms.

Of the closeness of strangers in a line outside a movie.

I am made of the corners of your mouth.

I am made of awkward elevator rides and the lack of security one finds on a doorstep, at the end of the evening, when one has enjoyed the company of another.

I am made of the train tracks that take me home.

I am made of ghost notes, from songs you never heard.

So forgive my absence. But I was never really here to begin with, anyway.

31 comments:

aufaitnovice said...

Wow, you have a way to capture a moment! Love it!

Anonymous said...

Ouch. Heartbreakingly beautiful.

cartographerofyourhair said...

You're made of all those places I left behind.
You're made of all those secrets I buried deep underground.
You're made of the stupid fights and the useless phone calls.
You're everything I can't get rid of, no matter how hard I try.

I'm sorry that I can't forgive you like I said I have. I'm sorry that I can't love you anymore, but you don't deserve it.

Anonymous said...

I am made of awkward elevator rides.

That one made me smirk.

The best song, moment or wine is the one that suprises you with his refined taste of life.

Frankly, I did not know what to think of you from the moment that we met. You suprised me with a refreshing bite of akwardness.

I love the fact, you and I live solitary, yet together we are not lonely.

Anonymous said...

The songs you never heared. The sons you never have seen.
The sun shines through the curtains..


Even if it is for a split second. You have to live life .

Reicha Ahluwalia said...

You are made up of your thoughts :)

beautifully expressed !!

Man Next Door said...

i saw myself in this text. And that's breathtaking.

Guiding Spirit said...

My dreams, feelings and desires gave substance to the nothing that was you and now you are present in your very absence ...

Chhavi Negi said...

you read my mind,
you hear my thoughts,
you see my feelings,
just perfectly.

Anonymous said...

Wow. This is so sad!

Anonymous said...

How do you do this? Speak to me as if no-one else were reading this? You make my heart ache for the ability to so express myself. Thank you for doing it for me.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid. Does that count?

Raison D'etre said...

Breathtaking.

Anonymous said...

In your absence I continuously sense your presence.
Somehow.
That seems impossible, I know.

But it is true. Just as we are true.

Just as in your perpetual absence I miss you more with each and every passing day. Even though I know we are together. Do you sense me too?

Because I'm always "here."

<3

Anonymous said...

I'm the ocean you tread in, surf in, sail in, and sometimes, get lost in.

Anonymous said...

Out of context and out of line. Why did I ever feel a need to explain when this, this explains it all.

Brittany said...

This is everything beautiful and extraordinary.

Anonymous said...

This feeling, at the end.
That's the feeling I feel when I stop believing he is reading my comments on your blog.
I'm wishing he is..
yet I know I lost him at ''Last trip out''

=(

Anonymous said...

I feel as though you are on the other side of the door with your ear against mine, your heart beating against mine,just turn the handle and come through...I am here for you...

Broken

Anonymous said...

I'll need your key to turn the handle... I wait patiently here for it. I'm just on the other side as always. <3

Ruby Tuesday said...

Amazing. This one left me breathless.

Anonymous said...

You weren't ever really here to begin with, but he was. He always was. He's dreams, memories and reality. He's whispers heard in the dark and glances shared in crowded rooms making it feel like the rest of the world disintegrated. You are made of the train tracks which took me home and you are the reason for absence. All you've caused me is pain. I will not forgive you, in any way.

Aparna said...

This sis so close to me

Anonymous said...

So sad and beautiful, like you; this part of you, at least. We can only be who we are. The hate is not mine but yours, for yourself, and perhaps me too. I wish you could have found a less damaging way to help me understand the brokenness earlier. I could have grasped that. Not sure I'd have loved you any less. Sadly, that brings us back to the original problem, no? We are not capable of being together in romantic love, but that does not mean I will ever stop loving you. The love between us is God-given. You see, He asked me to carry and nurture the lifetime of love you've lost, ks, until you're ready to hold it again. Someday you'll be able to take it back on, even if only for a little while, to know peace. Don't judge where I put my energy. Pretty sure I did what I was supposed to do this year.

The past two weeks has indeed been a fright, but truth be told, love and I scare you more. Now isn't that silly? <3 ox

Matthew Haines said...

This actually made me cry.

Nia Charms said...

I got lost. this was amazing

Puti Adrian said...

speechless...inevitably awesome

Jessica Louise Barlow said...

very much so

Savannah said...

You are a wish
You are a thought
My laughter on the lift rides
My shivering and melting
My hidden cry I never could admit existed
As it was hidden even from myself
I looked for you in the corners of every room,
I walked by the queues at the movies,
I was watching the tracks when the train was taking me home,
I received your ghost notes and I read every single one of them countless times
I still have them,
I kept them hidden away
Now I can't even touch them,
I can still feel the moment when walking on the street one day I looked into your deep blue eyes and passed by leaving them there in the middle of the road...
confused...
Staring at my back as I was walking away
When I realsed they were yours I turned around only to run after,
To pull you by the coat away from the crowd.
To stop you and hurt you because I HURT

Anonymous said...

You think everything is just one big joke to me right? No one's laughing. Especially not me.

Eric said...

Captivating, and boldly meaningful to me for perhaps a slightly different reason than intended.