Monday, July 23, 2012

The Dearly Discarded


Late at night, when your brain is tired of thinking of everything else, you will find me there. You cannot throw me far enough away.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Everything falls right back to you. There is no other way.

Jules said...

Always the truth.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, you are right. But believe me, I've been trying.

JayThom said...

I want to deny it,

But you're still there.
Ingrained, physically and mentally.
Forever.

Anonymous said...

Pshht! I know you are going through the exact same thing.

FeverDream said...

you are only there at night when i allow myself to think of you during the day. i'm stronger than this now though, and i refuse to look abandoned.

find another way out before you're buried alive.

Kleigh said...

Not just in the late night, in the early morning as well from the very first moment I wake up, you are there.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XV3DOf1CS74&feature=related

Anonymous said...

i don't want you to be mine. (freedom is like a golden rule)

but i need your truth !

Anonymous said...

you should. (& you will figure that out when its too late)

the truth is, i don't want to stop loving you but i will.

Anonymous said...

love being free. free from feeling ignored by someone. free from feeling insecure. free from being a clingy nut. free to keep my love for myself. should have freed myself sooner.

youre free to stay gone because im just fine without you

Anonymous said...

If only you could read my heart.

Angie said...

true person is the one i can find just waiting for me when my mind goes blank ,, all people are busy in their own life ,, and i'm all alone facing that harsh life ... he is the one and only one ,, now i need to get my head buried in his shoulder and forget everything else ...

Anonymous said...

I'm happier when you're around.

Anonymous said...

i have trouble letting go? according to tears on the other end of these last night calls so do you. you didnt make a mistake. just let go. stay gone.

Anonymous said...

let go. stay gone. he doesnt love you. he never will.

Anonymous said...

i watch these couples, the way they look at eachother and i remeber that look in your eye. then it doesnt matter how happy i am at the moment, ters flood my eyes as i realize im never going to see those eyes of yours again. rip baby

Anonymous said...

I'm happier too. You're welcome to stay.

Anonymous said...

You were here from morning to night. But now all I see is a stranger.
What happened? Am I to blame?
I need you. But I won't admit that to you.

Anonymous said...

I need me. I don't need you anymore.

Anonymous said...

You weren't. Staying that way. See first two words. Blame me if it makes you feel better. I won't be there. Sounds like a personal problem.

I love you. But please move on.

Anonymous said...

@ Anonymous
'You weren't staying that way.'

I was not because you never told me the three little words I so, so, Jesus, so badly wanted to hear from you. The three little words you wrote here. The stark and simple I love you.....

I didn't need a commitment. I didn't need a relationship. I needed you like I need me. At every step of my life. Yesterday, today and always. I just needed to know that you loved me.

I never understood what held you back. So I was struggling with holding myself back. Struggling to reconcile the brain with the heart.
And you know me as much as I know myself. So why didn't you understand that I was just struggling with the communication gap.
You know what? Even soulmates like us need a bit of help. Especially two extremely introverted people like you and me.

But anyway, all this has been said and done. I have, even as you advised me to, tried to move on.

Tried. Trying. But I am so tired now. I have learnt to see things that I never saw before. Ignorance really was bliss. And if I lose you, the real danger is I'll perhaps lose myself too.

So listen to this - I loved you then. I love you now. And I will always love you.
And I never blamed you. I blamed myself. That's where the madness started.

So, in this, my very last message to you, I'll just say one thing.
You once said 'Words don't count. Actions do.' So show me that you love me. In person. Not in this medium. Not through some anonymous comment.
I will wait. Because you are me.
And as I read somewhere, even soulmates make mistakes.
So come to me. I'm done with the taste testing.

I love you.

Anonymous said...


im not coming bsck.
i love you too.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous

:) Thank you.
I'll make do with this 'I love you too' till some day you can say it to me in person. Perhaps yes. Perhaps not.
But I'll stop hurting now. And you must stop hurting too.
Because as lain wrote, 'You cannot throw me far enough away.' And neither can I.
All my love. muahhhhh!

Anonymous said...

Don't you dare lose you. You're strong. Stop it.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous,

I don't know if you're him or not. But if he wrote this,
"I didn't need a commitment. I didn't need a relationship. I needed you like I need me. At every step of my life. Yesterday, today and always. I just needed to know that you loved me." This is all I ever wanted from him. And I really miss him tonight. But I'm never going to see him again because it is less painful to stay away and try to forget.

I wish you luck anonymous. I said I wouldn't come back because he always lets me come back and I always leave in pain because he can't give me what I need because I never know what I need. Every time. He's one of my best friends, I love him more than he knows yet his harsh words hurt me more than he knows.

I can't do it anymore. I love you. Tonight, I miss you. Just tonight.

Anonymous said...

he said he never me wanted me like that. the word never is what hurt the most. don't ask me how, but i know he loved me, even if it was for a minute.

but i will let him lie and forget. it's easier for him to do now that he doesn't need me. he has her. it's easier to let him lie because i have them lining up to tell me how gorgeous, smart and amazing i am.

but they love an illusion. it is all they see. the illusion of me. they can't handle me showing them what i showed him. the real me he still loved me for. he may not know how to say it but i know he does, he did and he always will love me, the real me. even if it's not in the way i need.

i'll love him forever for that. even when i pretend i don't.

Anonymous said...

see you when i see you SC.