You are always the meanest person you know. And only you can stop you.
I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for. You were meant to read these words.
You are so right. But it's hard to be nice to myself. I don't feel I deserve nice.
it's so hard to think of yourself being worthy of having nice thoughts when all the ones in your own mind are so broken, painful, sad.
You know her.
"And you could, you could do so much better. Many have wasted their breath on me, all in vain with so much shame. They lock me up, throw me in the mental wards and forget. Deny my truth and eat away at my emotions. Under a microscope of disgust and distrust. Accused of things I've never done, set up by those I considered close. I can't promise that my sickness wouldn't infect you as well, so the advice I lend is to keep your distance. You asked for my version of events and I gave it to you, played it out for you. I hope I've left you with no more questions. We probably will run into each other again one day and if we do I'll just smile and wave. I just wanted a friend, but they always want much more from me and when I've given all I could and blow another fuse like I do, I repeat the process. I'm the loneliest person you could ever meet and that's why most stay away. Not a pity party, a reality party. See ya around..."
i miss the hell out of you love. do you know what i'd do to have you in my life as my friend right now? anything. but i cant right now. it's not that i look badly upon you at all. you're my friend. i love everything about you. even your flaws. i'm simply still hurting. let me find the love i wanted from you from someone else. then i will be back, just simply as the friend you wanted from the beginning. if you'll have me.
i'm sorry you feel that way though keep your head up. you are loved. you're one of my best friends.
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