Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Distance To You










You told me it'd be ok. But you were the one crying.

You told me to let go. But you were the one holding onto my shirt.

73 comments:

Nouri_E said...

Because it's myself that I'm trying to convince.

Anonymous said...

So Short, but so touching. Love it.

Anonymous said...

Sorry I lied.

Anonymous said...

So apropos. Thanks for saying what I couldn't.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry..I lied.

But you were the one that told me that you would never leave me. Never lie to me. Always be there for me when I needed you. And above all, you said that you wouldn't hurt me.

Well, you lied to.

So it's fair in my eyes.

goingkookies said...

agree with @annoymous.

so simple that it could mean a thousand things..

goingkookies said...

oops i meant the first annoymous after Nouri_E bit

Anonymous said...

Because its me that wants to be ok..

and its me that needs to let go...

saying it the other way makes it easier.. somehow....

gelopots said...

are you really that selfish? stop holding on when you know you can't give more.

li-thium said...

It is so. Hard.

ccmm said...

You never fail to amaze me.

Nuclear said...

So familiar...
You can't even imagine how

Anonymous said...

But in the end? You let go, anyway. In fact, you let go FIRST. I let you cling on to me because I didn't want you to wilt and die like you said you would, AND THEN YOU LET GO. YOU DISAPPEARED. It's been 8 months since I've heard from you. I never should have trusted you.

Carly said...

This one really hits home.

Anonymous said...

..but you still didn't love me.
I never understood, but I understand now. At least I think I do.

VidyaYazmin said...

:'(

Anonymous said...

i did pulled u shirt bcoz i want u to tell me not to go..

sometimes my feelings are too much to
keep, that's why i need to let u know about it and im sorry i did it the wrong way...im sorry my love...

but when i saw you and the way you let things show, it's as if you chose to get my hands off your shirt and told me to leave...and i was so hurt that i thought this might let u feel better..

so, don't ever think this was my own choice...
you made me do it..

i believed you and i still do...
but things are confusing me without you telling me that you still feel


okay and that there's no reason for saying goodbyes....

I NEED YOU TO TELL ME THAT YOU NEED ME IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE I NEED YOU IN MINE...
i hope you know this is not easy...

Anonymous said...

my love




i

need

you

too



don't be too comftable with how i feel for you....
you shouldn't doubt me on that...

but what about me?

Anonymous said...

There is a real soap opera at the commentaries side in here hehehehe.
It's a little confusing.
From my humble point of view,

The person that don't let go is because it feels forced to do it because the other one pushed him/her and doesn't know how to "play" this person and which buttons to touch or not. Maybe both do. What I don't know if is for mutual incompatibility or for the inexperience?

To give yourself away to somebody is not that easy, after all is the only thing we really have at the end ... ourselfs. :)

My opinion

Anonymous said...

OMG but how many girlfriends does this blogger has?!?

LOL

;)

Anonymous said...

it was a fight between what i WANTED to do, and what i SHOULD do.


...the latter won.

Anonymous said...

You know what?

It's not the same to fight`for´ somebody

..that to fight`with´somebody.

And you don't play with Love,

Love is NOT a game!!!

Don't get that wrong

Mr. "IdowhatIshould"

Anonymous said...

i would have held on forever, despite you telling me to let go because at first i thought i could pull you back. i could tell by the way you told me to let go you didnt really mean it. i just wanted you to say it, but you held onto your pride instead.
and then you made yourself hate me in order to make it easier for you. really, you just made it easier for me to let go. and i know that your quick fix will one day come back to haunt you and you will find yourself longing for me, but like i said before; if you're really going to go through with this, dont come looking for me one day because i wont be there.
i meant it. im sorry. but i have to protect my heart.

Anonymous said...

what did you just say??

Anonymous said...

First at all, we are having this conversation in your commentaries side when we can do it by DM, and THAT was your shy person idea. And one day you will find that THAT wont take you to any real relationship in your life.
I live in real life, this is a bridge. Sorry I had to protect my life too.

Anonymous said...

but i cannot say these things in person because real life has changed, and in real life, you arent there. i've accepted and ive let go the best i can. which means no more talks in person. no more talks on the phone. no more talks through text.

Anonymous said...

Thats because you dont have a real life.

Aella said...

i'm not going to lie to you.
my heart just broke a little.

Anonymous said...

you were my life.

Anonymous said...

FUCK YOU

Anonymous said...

I wish...... lol

catchingacolder said...

I was talking to myself.

loveone said...

he's mine,

back off

Anonymous said...

Oh god, my love.

Still clinging but you have already said goodbye.

There's no life left for me, let alone for you. Let alone for us.

You hold on. Is it because you want to feel loved again?

Well, maybe you should get your girlfriend to do that. Instead of holding onto me. And as much as it hurts me to watch you leave instead of cling on...

Just don't pretend like you care.
-krw-

Beelah said...

Surprisingly hard to truly let go of something you're want to free

Abaddon said...

"sigh" this one hits home

Anonymous said...

im too weak to absorb everything you just said

too weak to finally find myself happy without you

too weak to survive...

cause you just gave me the thought of what i've been very afraid of...

you...letting go of me..


tell me, is this what you really want to happen?

Anonymous said...

this is not how i wanted this to be.

Anonymous said...

then please dont tell me that this is over...

you just don't have any idea how you are hurting me...:(

Anonymous said...

I cried, because I thought I won't make it back to you, but I did, where were you.

Anonymous said...

I still care, I was right HERE.

Anonymous said...

you told me you would never hurt me ... and here we are. But I don't care, I will forgive you again and again.

Anonymous said...

:)

Soumyaranjan Dash said...

Simply, love it! I know, it's not ok & I know, you never wanted me to go away!

bejn said...

Shit. The one time you catch on you don't do anything.

helena said...

i miss you.

Anonymous said...

meauwww!!

Anonymous said...

I wonder what are you doing?

Anonymous said...

I lied. I lied to so many people. But I didn't mean to. I wasn't able to provide what I promised I would. And once I finally admitted it it was too late for so many to be salvaged. I hate what I have done. But I didn't know. I swear I didn't. And now I face it every day. I wish things were different, I wish I wasn't this way. I wish that every day of my life. Every morning I wake up being something I wish I wasn't. But there is no changing it, it's impossible. This is who I am, so there is no use fighting it anymore.

And now I know the pain that I put all of you through. I feel the searing words I let slip from my mouth leave scars inside. I've become every single one of you. I can only hope I will forgive myself. And do not expect you to forgive me.

Anonymous said...

Tell me ... how bad are you??

Anonymous said...

You can`t abandone at the end

-LySa- said...

i said that just to make you feel better, but inside i suffer..

qura²dlmprhu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

But in the end, You were the one who let go. And now that we're over, I wished we lived in a different world. then I can't say I miss you. Because it hurts so much when I say I MISS YOU but you never said it back. :(

Don said...

It's not me it's you.


Bravo.

Anonymous said...

this is so amazing, it made me cry. thank you. i mean it.

Anonymous said...

you held on because you care.
we both still care.

now what

Anonymous said...

I will talk to you, but you are not there, you are here playing secret ??¿¿¿

Im there. Add me.

Well, do what you like.

Anonymous said...

"I lied. I lied to so many people. But I didn't mean to. I wasn't able to provide what I promised I would. And once I finally admitted it it was too late for so many to be salvaged. I hate what I have done. But I didn't know. I swear I didn't. And now I face it every day. I wish things were different, I wish I wasn't this way. I wish that every day of my life. Every morning I wake up being something I wish I wasn't. But there is no changing it, it's impossible. This is who I am, so there is no use fighting it anymore.

And now I know the pain that I put all of you through. I feel the searing words I let slip from my mouth leave scars inside. I've become every single one of you. I can only hope I will forgive myself. And do not expect you to forgive me."

I wish you were who I wanted you to be. I wish you were brave enough to admit this. I wish you would come to me and yell it in my face. Because you put me through so much pain, and all I want is for you to tell me you finally know what you did. You destroyed me. I was such a strong person and you broke me to pieces because I believed you when you said you could give me what you promised. I so heavily depended on you, and I gave you my everything. I knew you'd done it to other people, but the things you said and the way you looked at me, for some reason I just thought we'd be different. We werent any different. You came and tore me apart and left, so unaffected. I am numb now, atleast towards the thought of you. I feel like it was all a lie, and I was only in love with who you pretended to be. A person that doesnt even exist.

Anonymous said...

Yes, you really lie,..to yourself. The only thing you look in those people is me......but I'm not there, I'm here.
Keep losing your time. My time..

Signed: THE ORIGINAL ONE (copyright)

Lauren said...

Just stumbled across your blog. Short, beautiful entries. I am intrigued.

Anonymous said...

So close to my heart. This is how I felt and didnt even realise. Brings tears to my eyes for how selfish I was.

Anonymous said...

Just so you know, you wrote this for him, not for me. but I'll cherish this anyway, because now I know.

Anonymous said...

Over and over again, you kept pushing me away, saying that I should let go of you, but I am here, still here because you were the one holding on.
`D

Anonymous said...

touching hearts... transforming lives.. hurrah to you

Anonymous said...

because it cant be over
because i have no choice
because im the one leaving
because i love you

Anonymous said...

I will never let go.

Anonymous said...

No matter how far away you travel I'm never letting go. Me.

becomingherself said...

...and letting go leaves my hands free, but heavy as a stranger's breath.

Anonymous said...

It feels good to see I'm not the only one longing for more today.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry I was so undecided, torn between my heart and logical reasoning. I was holding back my tears the entire time, my body screaming at me to just bridge that gap and hold onto you, make it all okay again. So what if I'd been telling you "it's for the best", "it wouldn't work out between us" for the past hour, repeating those phrases like a mantra - it wasn't too late. I could've clung onto you, kissed you all over, told you I didn't mean any of what I'd just said, that I'd never ever try to leave you again. We could've still salvaged it then.

But instead, you tell me instead that I kept saying all the same words over and over again because I wanted you to end it since I didn't want the blame. That was what finally pushed me to it. Something about feeling guilty that you thought that's what I wanted. Something about you thinking I was trying to manipulate you. Guilt and honesty, that's what tore us apart. You placed honesty in such high regard and were always apologizing, so I did the same likewise. The utter frankness between us made the little omissions of truth matter, and sorry's flew around like bullets from the both of us. If only we didn't care so much about not trying to hurt the other. If only I didn't worry so much about the little things.

Did I ever feel resentment at you for not realising how I was really feeling at that moment? Not hearing the flatness of my voice and seeing how out of sorts I was? The day was a blur - I just went through the motions, moved my mouth up and down, let the disjointed words pass through my teeth. But I'd numbed my emotions, told myself that what I was doing was the right thing to do, after all, it was the decision I'd come to after weeks of contemplating, wasn't it? But if only, if only, you'd let one tear fall, one pained look, the meekest "don't do this", I would've stopped right there. Instead we sat stiffly on that rock, facing each other with our equally stony faces, betraying no emotion to each other. One slip though, and it would have all been okay.

But that's that and it's over with. You're just a moment of my past now and I'm starting to be able to accept it. Ending it might have been the stupidest mistake of my life thus far, but not starting it for sure. That was flawless so thank you for that.

Anonymous said...

Because you're so afraid of being alone, again. And you desperately want someone or something to point at and say, "Look, see, right there. It wasn't my fault."

Anonymous said...

I dont want to let you go, yet i have to there is no other chive for me o cant do it anymore And im sorry i hace to leave you, i never told you but you are one of the few reasons i stayed longer, please forgive me And take care for when im ready to come back. I love you my friend