Other people will suck the reality off you sometimes, make you suddenly self conscious of who and what you are. And there's nothing wrong with that. Let the feeling wash over you, accept it, and move on past it. You seemed really concerned about this when you were younger.
Friday, July 27, 2007
You once told me “A diary is a long winded letter you write to an old person who used to be you.”
Still, please take better care of it, everyone has to read it in the future, and the bits you’ve spilt grape juice over are completely indecipherable. All we know about -that- New Years Party is from eyewitness accounts of the event and the first and last words of the entry “You’d never believe…” and “…that’s how I ended up on the highway, with a bedside lamp and a breadbox full of money.”
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Hey, listen, that one time when we were down by the river, and you were sad and drunk because of your mom, I really thought we should’ve talked about it more. I could see something was bugging you, and you wanted to scream it to the world but you couldn’t, because it hurt so much to get it through your throat. Sure, you gave me half the story about why you were sad, but I could see that wasn’t all there was to it. I think you thought I didn’t really “get” you that day.
I just want you to know that I did. And, I knew anyway. I just acted the way I did because I was hurting too. I’m really sorry, seriously, for letting you think I didn’t know for so long.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
I know how you felt about me. I knew all along. You'd break up a little, become a little more static, whenever you spoke to me and you were always trying to figure out ways to be near me. It was obvious. I'm sorry I didn't return your feelings, I was an idiot and a fool. And it's got nothing to do with who you become, seriously, I'm really sorry. Please, give me a call sometime.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Times will be tough like old leather and gravel roads occasionally. Times will be easy, like Sunday morning, every now and then. What you do during these times will define you as a person and a human being. Your humanity towards others, your will to make the world a better place for you and those around you and your identity as a citizen of the world. All these things count.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
That last night we spent together, when we both knew it was over, and you called me that name that only you had for me, that sound more than a name that you’d never say in front of anyone else; I’m sorry I turned away and cried and asked you why you called me that.
I didn’t mean ever, I didn’t mean I’d always hated the name, I meant that name meant so much to me, but I knew soon no one would ever call me that again and it hurt more than I could bear.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Now that we can communicate with the dead, a few of them you might know, have something to say to you.
I know how you felt, even if sometimes you didn't show it. I know why now (I know everything now) and I understand. I wish I could've done more for you. I wish I could've known you better. My love for you is the one thing that will never die.
Stop being so SAD (lol). You're not the one who died!
Brush your teeth. Take your vitamins. I'm watching you.
One thing you must do, is prevent the King of The World from taking power. When the aliens landed, they laughed at us because we hadn’t, after all this time, elected one planetary leader. So, we took genes from every race and region on the planet, whisked them together in a test tube, and grew our new leader up in the space lab (we couldn’t do it anywhere on earth, everyone would get upset that he wasn’t being raised in their own country, and this was the only way to be sure he wasn’t influenced or compromised). Anyway, he’s the son of mankind but also a bastard, you need to stop him. You’ll know how when the time comes.
Friday, July 6, 2007
When the world is cold and alone, you will be the one who keeps us warm through that frost bitten final night, letting us live to see a rising sun one more time.
Humanity, as a whole, would like to thank you for being you. Now that we all know about your life, and what you went through, you're an inspiration to all of us. Thank you for never losing your faith in us, when the time comes, we shall have our faith in you. And you will be great.
What we did was, we created organic machines and gave them their own intelligence, we modeled them on ourselves, gave them organs, a heart and a brain (some of them we just wanted to stay put, so we gave them roots instead), obviously we didn’t want them to be as smart as we were, and we didn’t want them to look like we did, we just wanted them to spread out over a planet and be around whenever we needed them. It’s easy to control them and get pretty much anything you want out of them, if you know the right words to use and the right spots to scratch. Unfortunately, your colony, due to whatever reasons, seems to have forgotten things. Don’t worry; you’ll be filled in properly later.
I saw your face online the other day, and I had no idea who you were, but you had something about your eyes that made me click. I keep track of what you’re up to (thanks for updating so often) and I care about you, even if I’m afraid to actually say anything (I’m a little shy). Your life seems so interesting, even though you’re not a celebrity or anything. It’s just nice to watch someone else’s life from a distance, even though sometimes I wish I could get on a plane, get a job at a store near you and try and accidentally meet you somehow. I know that sounds creepy, but you deserve someone special in your life, you more than anyone else I know.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Remember when we lay in the park the whole day staring at the clouds, telling each other what and who we saw? I felt so close to you then. Part of me knew what you had to do and where you had to go but in that moment… I’d have given anything to stop you.
I still stare at the sky at least once a day. Hoping that one day, I’ll see you again.
I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for.
You were meant to read these words.
You’ve always felt special. Different. And also… a little misunderstood. That’s ok. Future generations will understand your pain, and why you became what you became. It feels good, doesn’t it? That I know, even if no one else knows (for now). I know who you are and what you’ve been through. I know everything. In the future, your life story will be studied like the New Testament. I can only apologise that we didn’t work out a way before now to tell you who you really are. I’m sorry, I know I’m rambling but it feels like I’m meeting a celebratory.
Thank God you found this. All the blank bits are about to be filled in.