Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Car In The River

This is the acceptance speech. The end of anger and denial. I accept that you and I will never be the same again. That while those days will live in my mind forever, they're over. I hate it. But I accept it. And I'm moving on now.

55 comments:

Anonymous said...

I let you go once before. Not because I did not love you. But because I did. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. And now I have to do it again.

Loving you is a beautiful and painful thing.

Rudie said...

[I thought we agreed it would be forever, but you didn't keep his promise. Me, on the other hand will hold on to it as long as I live. You don't call me your best friend anymore, but you will always be mine. Because I love you, and no one can ever change that.]

Thank You so much for this. So appropriate at this very moment. I love you, so much.

Farha Ghouse said...

I guess the only thing I can do to get over you is just ignore you. And pretend you never existed. I love you, from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you for this. Need it.

Chop Logik said...

I keep deleting and retyping the last sentence.

Azalia Suhaimi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

You have to be happy for what you had, not grieve when it's gone. Times change and people move on, they say.
I only hope I move on too.

gravitas said...

Just what I need to hear..
Just where I am right now..
Just what I've been trying to do..
And just what she's doing exactly..

You're amazing, Iain. Just amazing.

Jordan said...

I honestly don't want this to be over. But...you're happy with him. And that's what I want for you. Is to be happy. Even if it's not with me. I will always care for you.

But. I need to move on as well.

Anonymous said...

every day i wake up saying today is the day im going to be strong and let you go. but when it comes to you, i am more fragile and weak than i ever could have fathomed. on most days you seem to be doing fine. we both talked of the same thing, sharing the rest of our lives together. how do you let go of me so effortlessly? was i really the only one that meant all of those things i said?

Anonymous said...

i'm sorry i hurt you. i'm sorry you hurt me.
and i promise, one day, we'll forgive each other.
i still love you.

Liz said...

People ask me why I'd think we'd never work. Simple: when things come back to us, they're not exactly the same thing as before when we first got them. No one can change the past, and thank God, but really...the only thing I can do to keep the past a good memory is erase you from my present, so someday I can look back at it and smile.

I can never deny you. I can only get angry for a while to justify that it's all over.

Anonymous said...

onward and forward and gathering my strength. thank you.

Anonymous said...

I am not here to satisfy your appetite for love. When I leave, I will be gone for good. I will never look back, I will never say a word to either of you again.

siang said...

Very apt.

Anonymous said...

And I think that this time, it's finally working. I haven't felt that free in a long time.

gravitas said...

@Liz

"the only thing I can do to keep the past a good memory is erase you from my present, so someday I can look back at it and smile.

I can never deny you. I can only get angry for a while to justify that it's all over."


She would've said the same thing to me. Thank you.

Maro said...

I think that the best thing is no talking to you anymore, i really love you and i have no clue when the things were wrong, but now i really need my space, a place where you're not aloud to be.
I'm sorry, but is the best for me now.

carlyles said...

No. I don't like to make this acceptance speech, and then deep down feeling completely otherwise.

So no. And I'm not sorry for feeling this way.

Anonymous said...

I don't know. I can't accept it.

Anonymous said...

I've been feeling this way, 10 months and counting. It seems like a lie but I'll just believe it.

Anonymous said...

today he is leaving. i am counting the hours till his plane takes him away. yesterday, we saw each other one last time. i felt hollow.

but now, it's dawning unto me: everything will never be the same again. i may not even be here when he comes back.

Maritza said...

Thanks for your words. I quoted you in my blog (with the reference link, of course), and I'm really glad I found this.

Cheers.

whoaa, mello said...
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whoaa, mello said...

Last night I was in the arms of another boy yet your face was the one I was picturing the whole time. This morning, I woke up and all I could think of was how much I wanted to see your face on the pillow next to mine. It seems the only thing I keep doing is going right back to you. You're the only one who's ever felt like home and I hate that it feels like I'm TRAPPED here but I love that everything feels so safe.

I know you're with her now. I know there are others and most days I think about how fine you are in life right now and oddly, that gets me through the day. It's like, because you're fine, it makes me want to be too.

It hurts that things have changed and it scares me to think that I may never get to have someone like you and something like what we had... ever.


I loved you. I love you and I think I always will.

Azalia Suhaimi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ambiguousminds said...

just what i want to hear..

it's not easy to do..
whenever i try to free myself of you.
life always pull us back together..

Anonymous said...

Nothing can ever take away whatever we had. No matter who is on your mind right now, no matter who has replaced me in your heart.

you will always be the place where my life begins and ends. you will always be that one true love in my life. you
will always be the one person who has that hold on me.

i love you so much. and that will never change.

BaggieSue said...

Finally.

Anonymous said...

Maybe someday. I will feel this way.

But somehow, I feel in my heart that I will always love you. I will always hope for you.

Please don't let it be in vain. Please trust me again. Please let me in your heart again.

Michael Mata said...

Yikes! The truth is known: what transpired between us- love or infatuation or whatever it was- here is the proof.

Lightchaser said...

It's amazing how many people this has resonated with in the short span since you posted it.

Me, too.

I am with someone else now and so are you and yet nobody, nobody, despite their unconditional love and good humour and debonair looks, can ever take your place. You are one of a kind. I love you forever, and forever is such a big word, isn't it?

You showed me exactly how huge and unconditional my capacity for love is. I will always be grateful for that.

Anonymous said...

acceptance speech hits me hard in places I wish I didn't have to look in.
I have to accept and move on. Letting go is my only saving grace.
Much love,

Gdine said...

I am not accepting this acceptance speech because I am still holding on to you

I am not going to give you up just yet

because I love you

samantha said...

can so relate to this. do continue writing. you put in words the feelings we feel. (:

E. said...

I'm moving on now.
I'm moving on now.
I'm moving on now.
Maybe if I say it many times I will convince myself that I am.

wonderful picture too Jon :)
Thank you both.

Anonymous said...

It's so hard to move on when that's not what I want. But I have to forget about what I want, and remember what I deserve.

And without a doubt, I deserve something better then what you've given me.

Cpark said...

I feel like we just call each other best friends because we have been saying it so long. We are different people now. I have been hanging on in hopes of a miracle that isn't going to come. I need to move on.

Perfect. Exactly what I needed.

R said...

you are going to leave soon for a long time and i know that you're thinking about us as much as i am. and maybe this is what it will come down to. i'm thinking it will, because it is unfair to the both of us to keep going. i just don't know if i can. after so long.

Anonymous said...

I've been waiting for this moment forever. Acceptance.

Never had I shed tears for anyone like I did for you. Still, in the end it was all in vain. But of course. You've changed. You've moved on. I loved you, but you no longer shared my admiration.

@Anonymous
"Maybe someday. I will feel this way.

But somehow, I feel in my heart that I will always love you. I will always hope for you.

Please don't let it be in vain. Please trust me again. Please let me in your heart again."

That was my sentiment for 8 months. I've woken up though, and I now realize that no matter how dearly I hoped for you, cared for you, you would not love me back. It hurts, yes, but hey. Finally, after all these tears and heartbreak, I know can move on now. Best of luck to you though, Anonymous. Hope you don't share my fate.

It feels kind of lonely without love, though. Heh, whatever. Bye.

A said...

Loving you is the best thing i ever did. And I know moving on is going to be the toughest. But if that is what it takes for u to achieve ur dreams, I'll do just that.

Let's accept this fate and push on! :)

Anonymous said...

No, please don't. We know we feel the same way.

Noime said...

K, I'm not yet ready to let go. You're still giving me reasons to hold on but I know at the back of my mind, you're getting over me. You have a new girlfriend now (although you said it's for fun)and it kills me knowing she's closer than you. Fcuk long distance. I miss you. I want you to come back to me. :(

t said...

Thank you for saying exactly what has been on my mind in the last few weeks.

pinaysofly said...

i just cant move on. i dont know how. :(

Anonymous said...

"will live in my mind forever"
It's like everytime I want this to stop you're making you're way back in my mind. Closing my eyes is seeing your face... I wanna let go but it seems that i'm trying to touch the Horizon...

Alana said...

this is beautiful. there are no other words.

Yush said...

I'm trying to let you go. I'm trying so hard. Yet I can't seem to let myself give this up, give us up.

But I fought for you, and you couldn't fight for me.

I've no choice but to leave you. I only hope my absence is temporary.

linda said...

Is it my ego that keeps you here?
"cause every time I ask you to go"
I hope you'll be back!

You leave, but only for a day or so
and then when you're back
I am at peace...

So when will I stop this madness?
How do I accept your presence?

What am I searching for?
What is that gap that you fill?

Because I know tomorrow I will want you gone, again!

JD said...

Leaving me is one thing. Forcing me to forget my promises is another. I love you so much till eternity but the problem is you want to let go. You said you don't love me and the things we had is nothing to you anymore. So I have to let go of you and forget about you not because I want to but because I have to.

Anonymous said...

Tonight marks one year that you so boldly asked me that simple question. A few months after, you decided you were wrong.

It has been eight months since I last posted a reply to this specific blog.

Sadly, I'm reporting that I have yet to move on. I hate every moment of it. I hate the fact that I still replay certain memories over and over in my mind. I have tried to moved on more than once, and failed every time. I am no longer angry, just sad.

But, I will move on, as time goes on. These feelings that I have for you will fade, but I'm sure the memories won't. And I am okay with that.

Anonymous said...

Whoever you are I just want you to know that you're saving me. Thank you for these, they touch me so deep.

Anonymous said...

I've moved on, or I have pretended to move on. But secretly, I want you with me, kissing me, touching me, holding me. I want you to yell at me for doing drugs, to text me in the morning telling me how beautiful I am, to snuggle up with me and just lay there in peaceful bliss. I miss you. But I guess that's what heartbreak comes with

alice yvaine said...

My dear old friend, with these words which say more than I could ever say (I could never even muster the strength to form them) - Happy Birthday.

allonah said...

No. That's unacceptable. We can still work this out somehow. Please, don't move on.

Lost said...

I knew you were going to do it, but not as cruel as you did. I wanted you to do it. So we both could be free.